Horrible Histories (Without the Histories)
I must've just turned ten plus three
When I turned over to CBBC
And then what do I see
It was Horrible Histories
A sketch show that teaches you facts
Even if you are taught by a rat
But I don't care about that
This show's my natural habitat
Cos I'm in love with Horrible Histories
I cope with the world through Horrible Histories
When my girlfriend said "I don't love you"
And started hitting me with her shoe
I just start to hum the rap of Charles Two
Like me he was fun with a natty hair-do
I held my Dad's hand as he started to die
I watched the light fade from his eye
And I didn't feel ashamed as I sighed
I'm a knight, I'm a knight, and I'm a knight
Cos I'm in love with Horrible Histories
The only way I cope is through Horrible Histories
A man was stabbed right outside my door
But as I stepped over blood guts and gore
I just thought "Who came after Georgie Four?"
Wait - William William Henry Stephen Henry Richard John Oi
Henry Ed Ed Ed Rich 2 then three more Henries join our song
Edward Edward Rich the Third Henry Henry Ed again
Mary One Good Queen Bess Jimmy Charles and Charles and then
Jim Will Mary Anne of Gloria George George George George WILL!
It's William the Fourth
Cos I'm in love with Horrible Histories
I can't fucking cope without Horrible Histories
Jesus fucking Christ I need Horrible Histories
So when you're feeling down
You can't wipe off that frown
Or if your neighbour's fucking cat, just won't drown
Just. Think. Of Horrible Histories
(And do the Pachacuti)
When I turned over to CBBC
And then what do I see
It was Horrible Histories
A sketch show that teaches you facts
Even if you are taught by a rat
But I don't care about that
This show's my natural habitat
Cos I'm in love with Horrible Histories
I cope with the world through Horrible Histories
When my girlfriend said "I don't love you"
And started hitting me with her shoe
I just start to hum the rap of Charles Two
Like me he was fun with a natty hair-do
I held my Dad's hand as he started to die
I watched the light fade from his eye
And I didn't feel ashamed as I sighed
I'm a knight, I'm a knight, and I'm a knight
Cos I'm in love with Horrible Histories
The only way I cope is through Horrible Histories
A man was stabbed right outside my door
But as I stepped over blood guts and gore
I just thought "Who came after Georgie Four?"
Wait - William William Henry Stephen Henry Richard John Oi
Henry Ed Ed Ed Rich 2 then three more Henries join our song
Edward Edward Rich the Third Henry Henry Ed again
Mary One Good Queen Bess Jimmy Charles and Charles and then
Jim Will Mary Anne of Gloria George George George George WILL!
It's William the Fourth
Cos I'm in love with Horrible Histories
I can't fucking cope without Horrible Histories
Jesus fucking Christ I need Horrible Histories
So when you're feeling down
You can't wipe off that frown
Or if your neighbour's fucking cat, just won't drown
Just. Think. Of Horrible Histories
(And do the Pachacuti)
Credits
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