The Dark Between the Stars

I crawl out from my burrow
on these groundhog days
to see what my shadow states
well knowing the winter stays

I try to stop this loop up 'til the bitter start
it's grueling but I still
got skin between my scars

6 AM but I'm not sleeping
pills and pride is all I'm eating
day is breaking
but my head is fixed inside
the dark between the stars

I must have an abundance
of lives left to live
if the lesson is learn to give
all I have given is up or in

like an alchemist in reverse
I can take something golden and make it disperse
oh, the simplicity of egocentricity

warm and nervous flushes
roll across my face
displaying my crippling shame
to self-critical acclaim

my voice box is a Rubik's cube
I can't solve this mess or talk it through
I'm so puzzled every word is suddenly
stuck like me
in the dark between the stars

I'm shadow boxing and the shadow's winning
it's seeping through my skin and slinging
punches til I'm spitting teeth
and blackout in
the dark between the stars