Just Like Everybody Else

My Uncle Dan was a preacher man
Born with a Bible in his hand
It was a painful birth
And he got on my nerves
My Aunt Stella never had herself a feller
Til she met Uncle Dan in the churches cellar
She wasn't wearing no clothes
Under her choir robe
Everybody needs someone to cling to
And make them fell larger than themselves
Everybody needs someone to sing to
And I guess I'm just like everybody else
Well my mama's in the kitchen
She's a hamburger magician
I am on the carpet
Watching black and white television
Of old Aunt Bea
Down in Mayberry
Was Gomer doing Goober
They were filling station lubers
Watching porn on their computer
Living off of tubers and country fried steak
It's all they knew how to make
Everybody needs someone to cling to
And make them fell larger than themselves
Everybody needs someone to sing to
And I guess I'm just like everybody else
Well scratch it if there's fleases
Bless it if it sneezes
They were knocking' boot for Jesus
And Jesus never teases
How can we go wrong
Singin' a silly ol' song
My mama thinks I'm crazy
My sister says i'm lazy
The sky is looking hazy and guess what
So's my future
What's a boy supposed to do
With all of these blues
Everybody needs someone to cling to
And make them fell larger than themselves
Everybody needs someone to sing to
And I guess I'm just like everybody else
Sometimes I even scare myself