Lovin On a Budget

Wish I could get you out my head, but it isn't that easy
Nervous when I talk to you my stomach getting queasy
Hard to understand if you even wanna see me
Maybe it's best I dance alone like Chris breezy
But Me and you should be dancing under the stars
But instead I drink alone drowning at my local bar
The connection feels so close but also seems so far
Don't think time can heal the wounds or even help these scars
Funny how I always end up like this
Tears down my face at night why do I feel this shit
My hearts in the wrong places man I hate that bitch
I Wish I never met her, cause I can't scratch this itch
Of wanting you
It's a shame the things you put me through
Things I can't obtain are the things that I pursue
Looking in the mirror like it's your fault dude
It's a shame I know it, I kill my own damn mood
Maybe it's about time that I just kick the bucket
Love just ain't the thing for me I should just say fuck it
Outlook looking bleak I guess my stocks gonna plummet
That's what happens when your stuck loving on a budget
Harder for me to sit down and write some rhymes
How can I pick the pen up when I'm running out of time
Praying that one day the stars will realign
I swear as the days go by, I get more asinine

Overthinking in my head just as the sun goes down
When is the rain gonna come trying to get out this drought
On edge so much the little things will make me act out
Wish I could go a single hour without having my doubts
I'm getting sick of this
Man these feelings can't get rid of it
How can I go on when all I wanna do is quit
This life got me by the throat I think I'm gonna submit
I think I'm going under, trying to swim through this shit
Do you even notice how I'm stuck begging for help
While your busy getting attention from everyone else
Wanna be your saving grace but you won't give me the chance
Now I stare at walls memories got me stuck in a trance
Snuggle on the couch with some Smirnoff and some jack
Not the way to do it not the mature way to act
It makes me feel worse but I just can't stay away
My head playing games thinking it'll numb the pain
It's the only thing you got when you feel all alone
Wishing I could hear your voice on the other side of the phone
The problems can be solved with one shot to the dome
Wouldn't even catch the roses that you would throw at my stone
Would you feel bad if you heard the things you put me through
Would you clean up the blood that you made me drew
I wish I could just tell you how much I love you
But you won't accept it, so to that fuck you