Aurora

Flashback to July 2020
You were just another girl that I would help out with the money
Every once in a while I would hit your cashapp
You would send me special pics that would make me come back
We would have a conversation every now and then
Got to know each other better do some digging in our heads
As the months passed we only got closer
Maybe too close for comfort but I love being smothered
But when wintertime came everything changed
At this point I want to know your real name, see your real face
It became less about the lust and more about the love
I grew a gentle care for you and everything you touched
I think you did with me too, texting with intention
Make my dreams come true, and they're all with you
We can ascend and reach the Heavens cause
We're two fallen angels just trying to learn our lessons
By the time the new year came, everything was different
We were flirting all the time thinking about all our decisions
I asked you to be mine in the future, you said yes and that
I should've asked you sooner
Heart was racing cause I haven't felt this way in years
I thought to myself, I don't gotta shed any more tears
I finally found my soulmate my twin flame
I can bury all my trauma think about the new age
Few days into January we were finally gonna meet
On the drive there my knees felt so weak
Heart was pounding and my hands were gripping on the wheel
Had to keep pinching myself asking if it's real
I was just so nervous at the time
Breathing heavy with a wonder if you'd fit within my life
Cause I didn't know if the chemistry would still be there
Or if we'd fizzle out and this was just another nightmare
But all that nervousness washed away when you got into the car
And I saw your true face for who you really are
You exceeded my expectations
So angelic that I thought that you were levitating, cause
Your energy was so bright exactly what I needed
Had a way to calm me down and I wasn't even pleading
You had a way to hypnotize me, I fell into your spell and
I could always drown up in your sea
For that first week or two, everything was perfect
Living in a paradise with you and we had no conflict
Spent the whole time trying to get to know each other better
Talk our deeper meanings over blunts and put each other
Front and center
It didn't matter what came and what went
'Long as we together I would conquer every demon in my head
Nothing could stop me from you
I would be a perfect man and always keep the skies blue, but
One faithful night that we linked, there was tension in the air and
It felt so distinct maybe I was nic sick or too deep in my head
But I started getting paranoid about you seeing other men
Maybe I was bugging out
Baby tell me that I'm wrong
Tell me I don't gotta write another song
Tell me I didn't misread every sign from God and that
He's truly blessing me with you and that this is lifelong
But you stayed silent didn't say a thing until the next morning
When you finally came clean that
Everything that we had was just a facade
You never truly loved me you were just another fraud
You're in love with someone else but you wanna stay my friend
You don't want our friendship to end, you don't want me to leave
You want me to stay, be with you until the end
Until we're both dead
I fell to my knees crying begging to the Lord
Imma hang myself with this microphone cord
Why'd you have to take another from me?
Do I not deserve her love why couldn't it be me?
I would love her better than the whole wide world
Drown myself in liquor until I start to hurl
After this God I promise that I'm finished with love
We gon have a conversation if I make it to the skies above

It's about time I address you directly
Time that I show a little bit of honesty
You need to know the effects of what you did
Time to let the demons loose and crack open the lid because
Every day I think of you and what we had
Mixed traffic signals and I end up in a body bag
I thought that the light was green when it was really red
But these rose-colored glasses have been glued to my head, and
I'll forever be your friend you know our bond will never die
I'm not mad you don't love me I'm mad that you lied
Why couldn't you just tell the truth right from the jump
We could've skipped all of the drama go right back to having fun
But I guess I get it in the end
Nevermind no I don't
But I'll go crazy if I think about your moans
So I gotta keep it pushing not dwell on the past
I'll accept that there's no closure I'll forever be your outcast
I don't know where I belong in your life and
You say that I'm important but it doesn't feel right maybe
I can't believe any word you say cause
I feel it in my chest when you ask me about my day like
Do you really care? Do you really wanna know?
That I see you in the clouds that I feel you when it snows?
That I dream about you every night when I go to sleep and
When I wake up the first thing that I do is weep cause
It was never real, it was all a lie
You hurt me more in one year than my ex did in five
I'm still healing from the burns that you left upon my eyes
That's what I get from staring at the sun, going blind
Cause I'm blinded from the love forever stuck up in your spell and
I don't ever wanna leave even if it feels like Hell
Cause it'll hurt more, if you're not in my life
Put the rope around my neck and you can squeeze it tight
Everytime I'm close to moving on you bring me right back
All it takes is one look then I'm off track
I'll try to find some peace in other women get them in my bed
But I'll close my eyes wishing that they were you instead
I'm sorry that I'm still stuck on you
I can't help it it's just the way you move and
I love every quirk that you have and the way that you laugh and
The way that you feel like my other half
But I gotta try my best and get over it I know it isn't healthy but
I'm stuck inside this tar pit
I got a lot of faults I can admit
Like I can't look at your eyes when they're sunlit
We love each other that will never change but
I can't say it to your face cause we don't mean it in the same way
So I'll just do my best to try and be there
Show you that I do care
Even if it's unfair, unfair to me but maybe not to you and
Your opinion matters so I'll be sure to see it through
I don't want anyone to ever tell you different
I will always be your biggest help the one who's most vociferous
I guess I'll just live with the pain and I would tattoo your name
With a rusty blade just to show you that I love you and I would do
Anything to preserve your happiness and be there when it rains
It doesn't matter how grey the skies are cause if you need me
I will be your north star
I will shine my brightest light on all your darkest corners
Illuminate the path and try to slay all of your horrors
This a ballad for the fallen angels in the sky
I know you may never be mine but that won't change a thing
I'm still holding on to that sliver of hope
Maybe one day I'll be your king
In the meantime, imma try and heal
Finally let go and embrace all the tears
It's a part of the process and it may never end but
That's okay because imma try my best