Too Much To Be Puttin' On

I'm no longer putting on anything that does not belong to me
The family cycles, they're not mine
Fixing what I didn't break, not mine
Trying to replace what I didn't take, not mine
Matter fact I'm gon learn how to sit back
That's a hint of relax wit a dash of white wine
I'm telling you, this new leaf ain't turned over enough times
Pen been light on selfish
Heavy on selfless in between the lines of these rhymes

Please don't misquote me in your mentions
Don't let these poems get this here twisted
This label
This label you love for me to put on
"You're this strong"
"You're that strong"
However strong
Well, it's a little bit too much of strong for me
Every time I try to put it on, it don't fit
It ain't never enough room in it for me
See these sleeves don't have enough reach to cover where I'm hurting
Tears drying themselves because there ain't enough fabric
In this strong that y'all love for me to put on to cover my burdens

I've been waiting for the season to change but I've been stuck in the fall
Yet, I still try to put it on
But it got me dressed like it's summertime with my back out
Catching the breeze
Tried to get under a rug with enough snug
But that's where everybody sweeping the leaves
Not enough fluff to keep me warm in the winter
Cold nights and tremors start way before December
Cause you think I'm well when I got it on
And we all know, you leave me cause you leave well enough alone
But alone is enough to kill me
When strong is too much for me to always be putting on

So no
No. I don't want to wear it
I don't want to wear anything that would make you not believe me when I say I'm tired
Anything that would make you put me on a pedestal when I and when I
And laugh when I miss a step
Anything that would make you think there ain't no catching up for me to do
As if I don't need a breath
I'm trying to breathe right now

But I can't breathe
I'm suffocating for the sake of this label everybody wants to put on me
I want to reach in my closet so I can put on weak
At least sometimes, so you can stop putting on me what don't belong to me
And what don't belong to me don't come with peace
I want to actually preserve that for me

It don't happen when I wear the label you want
This strong
That strong
However strong
It's too much for me
Makes you think I'm well and you leave me alone, with all this on
But what good is strong when it's still never enough in it for me
When I feel better allowing you just to see, me
When I'm tired
When I'm hurting
When I'm weak
All these things you consider less
But only then is when you check if I'm fully dressed

It's too much for me to be putting on