Note 2 Self

I write everyday just to keep my mind sane
Blowing smoke just to ease the migraine
I maintain with minimal, never spit subliminal
Use to live in a prison cell as a criminal
But never did I fold, never did I break
Pen, paper and rhythm, that's what I call meditate
Years later opened gates, got to refine myself and home
Summers of stick up nights, selling pills by the roll
I only wanted to survive, I was barely swimming
They disappear like magicians the struggle barely beginning
I should be somewhere in Cali dreaming
Bitter hoes from my past steady trying to get even
I hear them talking they screaming, maybe that's just my demons
I'm trying to kill my own self, I got plenty of reasons
I hear my old shit, wonder why the fuck I released it
It wasn't good enough was it, is that the voice of my granny
I'm so proud of your cousin, my golden child is your daddy
When you going to get that degree, plus all my friends enemies
I just can't trust anymore, they only call when they need
And I don't got nothing for them, but this poetry that's foreign
They don't understand my vision, still I'm steadily recording
Make my way in this life, keep good insight and energy
Wake up every morning tell my setbacks they dead to me
Wake up every morning tell my setbacks they dead to me, bodied

Step up or step aside
That's a note to self
Every beat I get on is suicide
Only strive to be better than myself
They hit below the belt
Then dial my numbers when they need help
Step up or step aside
That's a note to self
Every beat I get on is suicide
Only strive to be better than myself
Hate I get it on my own
laughed when I needed help