Disconnected

I don't wanna do it now
I don't wanna go outside
Been falling, been falling
Tell me that it's all my lies
Think about it all the time
Been falling, been falling

Yeah, sick of comparing myself, drive to get air for myself
I haven't slept in 2 days, I should take care of myself
So unaware of myself, at times I stare at myself
And hate the person I see, it's like I'm glaring at hell, 'cause
I'm always ruminating, always felt disconnected
Why can I not escape these, thoughts that I keep on dreading
My minds constantly racing, I try to intercept it
I wish someone can save me, 'cause I see where I'm headed, yeah

But that's my life though, drowning in muddy waters, I need a life boat
Always felt misunderstood, I don't know why though
Always shutting the world out, guess that how I cope
My phone, doesn't ring, late night, little flings
Don't result in real things, overed over the sink
Always get what I want, but ignore what I need
Yeah I'm getting these checks, no one's checkin' on me
But I'm living my dreams, constant stress that it brings
Jealousy in the air tonight, jealously what it breeds
It ain't all what it seems, family don't even clap for me
But when when they all down bad, they hit me up to get a stack from me, yeah-yeah-yeah

Crazy how it is, people be feeling entitled to this
But they weren't around, while I was down
They got there hands out, I give 'em a fist, can
Spot out a fake, just leave out some bait
And then pull it back as soon as they take
You will be amazed, by all of the snakes
That you catch in this bitch

Wasting time, every time I trying
You don't lie? that's a lie, I can tell
Can't disguise who you are all that well...

I don't wanna do it now
I don't wanna go outside
Been falling, been falling
Tell me that it's all my lies
Think about it all the time
Been falling, been falling