Beautiful Eulogy

Feeling so empty as I'm practicing traditions
Life hitting different am I losing my religion
Past showed its presence and this feeling ain't pleasant
Fighting with these ghosts and they got me second-guessing
Feeling pain cause some words are just hard to say
Some may walk with you others choose to walk away
Others giving kind words along with some scriptures
I'd rather have this liquor transform to my elixir
Fatigued and frustrated my faith feels fragility
Hoping for a healing and hunger for humility
Enter the wilderness got freedom and some guidance
Learned to be still, found the reason for the silence
So thankful for the prayers that God didn't answer
Thought it be the cure but would've been a cancer
Need some strength, may the Lord come and bless my soul
Cause the art of holding on means letting go

We can all get to a point where we're overwhelmed
We all get to a point where we feel shame
We all get to the point where we don't feel good enough
We all get to a point where our identities
Are so defined by the world's messaging
We can't even hear what God is saying about our identity

We on a journey and run into these crossroads
You might wander doesn't mean you're a lost soul
They say one day that it all makes senses
Seems like the more I'm learning, the more I lament
Man, took a loss doesn't mean that I'm losing
Had to gain clarity and lose some confusion
Gained self-discovery and got some introspection
Never be afraid to call things into question
Keep the status quo what the hell am I preserving
If God can't be questioned then why should I serve Him
Might of lost my religion but I found my faith
Still trust the Messiah and his astounding grace
Heal to rebuild start picking up the scaffold
Now on this road are some hard things to grapple
Keep some close friends can be potent and be pivotal
Choosing curiosity and open to being critical
Diversified my faith didn't compromise the truth
Removed the whitewashing and arriving at the root
I'm made in God's image not the image of whiteness
Walking by His grace I'm forgiven and righteous
Rest in the extra nos and notice the sacred rhythms
Used to feel dead inside now dwelling with the living
Had to slow it down then remove the disconnection
Thank God for the mourning cause it brought resurrection

And I want to challenge your ideology of when you say
I am going through a dark time, I can't see
What God is doing, what God is saying
You are right where I was when I created the earth
Something beautiful is coming
He creates beauty from the unseen
So when you find yourself in a moment saying
I'm in a dark time or I've never been here before
Smile, your Earth, your Eden, your sunrise is coming