.exeSpeak

Got a few things to say
Got a few things on my mind that I'd really like to display
This play of words you're hearing might sound similar
To the burdens from other wordsmiths you've heard
Take a step back listen
I wrote this song going through tough times in my life
Meaning doubts hitting me left and right seeing no point to sing
Seeing no point to bring my take

I've always had one, never thought it'd go far
Getting pulled, it's impassioning
Leading right to my heart
It's a difficult start starting right from the start
It's hard getting out there like I always was
Always was the tag-along where my friends would go
In the corner looking PO'd, too cold
For anyone to want to approach
What can I say
Relaxed, my face never had much of a glow
Sure

I've been through things, could use it as an excuse
Excuse me when I have to leave
Nerves on the edge, edging when they wanna jump
Adrenaline dependent, can barely make it through a social event
Without a little do-or-die pumping
Something's up when things get down
Most people during stressful situations have a frown, not me
Flip it upside down it's a smile now

Smile now, an example my mom and dad said I'd always be
But it's up to me to decide what kind I'd be
Hopefully a good one, no pressure
I'm just in the role of leading, dreaming
Of the day I find peace with myself, with my fam
And some other ones I've met, not yet, and yet maybe
Maybe quit while I'm ahead
Don't get in that line of thinking [my] your purpose isn't quite clear yet
Get set for the day that I know, 'cause I never know what it could be
Could be something I've never done, never seen
Ever seen plans change, all the time, good
(You'll) I'll be ready in that sense at least
A beast inside me all the time
Ripping at me with its doubt-doused teeth
A beast appeased by the feed that I give it
Daily with my doubts it feasts on my fears
Appears at least twice around

I'm the only Untold Identity
Call me an entity
A child of God might go so far to say I'm a Demi-deity
I'm only partly godly
And as for the rest of me
I'm trying to see that I'm not the death of me
I'm half-expecting
To be challenged or forced
However you might put it
To do things I kind of abhor
Do something more than I think I couldn't
Like what if one day I'm on a stage in front of a couple thousand
And I screw up a note or a chord and I'm transported to a doubtful housing
Will I ever recover from a moment such as that
Accused of plagiarism, lack of skill, lose all touch and all contact
Getting faster now my voice does that when I feel I'm just droning on
If you want me to I could tell you why I think I could be wrong
About what I've been told to do
It's nothing different, nothing new
I've been through things
"You've said that, UI"
Maybe I'm just dreaming too high
Not going anywhere with this
Why was I told to write this
This is silly, better stop now
Before regrets form and resound

You're a failure
Nothing special
Every time you improve, you delve
Into something different
No commitment
Never finish
Never get it
Cannot end it
Always spend it on the benches
Digging trenches
Only defense is your faithlessness (In your friends) and yet
You still hurt when it's broken
Spoken of it maybe once and one day
You'll regret the day you ever thought you'd ever make it
You regret a lot of things
Nobody wants to hear your pain
Nobody here wants you to stay
So keep your mouth shut, you're a waste

Speak
Speak
Say something
Say something

Get it
Don't get it
It's part of it
Open up with it
Spill it and fill it back up with the satisfaction that I get
When I get in the right place in my heart to start opening up
To a different person while my prayers echo up
Into eternity
From earthly me
Early fee
Don't misinterpret me
'Cause sometimes I feel like it's the only thing I'm born to be
No more to me
Morbidly thinking it is all I'll ever be
Just mouthing to a greater Thing
With greater words and greater things
To say than me