Out
When I was still a young man my father said to me
Son, if you turn out a faggot then you're sleeping in the streets
I used to hunt them down and I would break their fucking teeth
You're no exception
When I got a little older I started wearing women's clothes
I fucking loved the way I'd feel wearing a bra and pantyhose
But I kept it all a secret locked in the destructive throes
Of self deception
It took me so long to realise
You don't have to respect those you despise
So I spent most of my teens wearing panties under my jeans
So fucking scared of admitting that I was queer
I thought if anybody seen then it'd be the death of me
But I'd rather die than keep living in fear
One day my parents caught me and they told me push it down
Don't let people know you're a freak or they will run us out of town
Kept my head underwater but I'd never fucking drown
Somehow I'd pull through
My self-esteem was broken I could never be myself
Repressing your identity will destroy your mental health
Too ashamed to admit it I could never ask for help
God knows I tried to
It took so fucking long to realise
Hiding means you'll always be despised
Because my masculinity has always been toxic to me
A voice in my head telling me that I'm broken
Because I just want to be free and to be referred to as "she"
But for 30 fucking years that went unspoken
You see I spent most of my teens wearing panties under my jeans
So fucking scared of admitting that I was queer
I thought if anybody seen then it'd be the death of me
But I'd rather die than keep living in fear
Son, if you turn out a faggot then you're sleeping in the streets
I used to hunt them down and I would break their fucking teeth
You're no exception
When I got a little older I started wearing women's clothes
I fucking loved the way I'd feel wearing a bra and pantyhose
But I kept it all a secret locked in the destructive throes
Of self deception
It took me so long to realise
You don't have to respect those you despise
So I spent most of my teens wearing panties under my jeans
So fucking scared of admitting that I was queer
I thought if anybody seen then it'd be the death of me
But I'd rather die than keep living in fear
One day my parents caught me and they told me push it down
Don't let people know you're a freak or they will run us out of town
Kept my head underwater but I'd never fucking drown
Somehow I'd pull through
My self-esteem was broken I could never be myself
Repressing your identity will destroy your mental health
Too ashamed to admit it I could never ask for help
God knows I tried to
It took so fucking long to realise
Hiding means you'll always be despised
Because my masculinity has always been toxic to me
A voice in my head telling me that I'm broken
Because I just want to be free and to be referred to as "she"
But for 30 fucking years that went unspoken
You see I spent most of my teens wearing panties under my jeans
So fucking scared of admitting that I was queer
I thought if anybody seen then it'd be the death of me
But I'd rather die than keep living in fear
Credits
Writer(s): Panda Mcpanderson
Lyrics powered by www.musixmatch.com
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