denial

When all people leaving me
I'm smiling at my lonely
I pretend to don't care away
But actually that i'm not okay

Sometimes I hope to escape
But sorrow always traps me
My soul's already crooked
So I can't be the person you expect

Sorry i've been sensitive
I really can't control this
I always blame my surround
But I know it will never save me

Please understand what I feel
So I can calm just for once
From prolonged anxiety
Where all I'm living in

If there is option I could choose
I'd rather be can't feel anymore
Instead of living in pain
All I can do is deny

I've been denying
For all this time
It doesn't mean I wanted this
I try to erase misery
Give up on pain as much as I can

It's a hard time I carried on
To struggle with suicidal thoughts
To handle it more better
I make it as denial

I've been denying
When I'm lonely
I wanna be a human being
That you think i'm perfect to you
And it should be there's no more denial



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