cardiomyopathy III

Sometimes you question yourself, a lil note to self
I'm taking notes on myself, tryna know who I am
The man behind the mic is falling off the bike
Suicide diving in Military White Nikes
Struggle with my pain, relations ain't the same
Relationships sinking
Like the Titanic without blinking
Stuck in dream 'cause I'm always overthinking
But reality is demeaning
Depressing? I mean it
Anxiety? I fiend it
Sanity? I need it
Anxiety? I breathe it
Reality? I leave it
They told me that I'd lose my mind
And I should've believed it
But I thought that premonition was something I never needed
I couldn't speak but my voice was what they needed
Pleading with my demons
I don't know if I've succeeded
A glimpse of optimism
But somehow I feel defeated

Misleaded, deleted, cheated and defeated
I could fill the ocean with the tears I've secreted
I heal better physically than emotionally
Psychological anatomy, developed abnormalities
Normally, I'd be fine with being confined in my pain
Locked deep in my mind, safe spaces built for hiding
Red Hood swallowed by the wolves 'cause her heart rides at noon
Riky took his own life, died by own knife
Who's comforting his own wife?
They said, "Hang in there."
And that's just what he did
He did what he did but the pain hid within
You're born alone, doesn't matter if you're twins
If depression kills me, I'mma thug it out in the afterlife
Life is really low, you could say I've lived a lowlife
I'm all alone, right?
On my own, right?
So who would care if I really took my own life?

It's sad that we gotta die, just to feel alive
Senses in the afterlife, heightened by the way of life
Praying for eternal life, that's a wildlife
Things changed, so did the quality of life
We're just living to die, some are dying to live
Sit down with your demons
And just learn to forgive
Drain away the pain, hold it up with sieve
Does it really matter, you take more than you give
Your purpose is to live, don't take more than you give
Haunted by the demons that live to convive
You could reach the sun but collide with eclipse
Losing your grips, lost in acid trips
Psychiatric slips, lose the feeling in your lips
She took a piece of me like Eve with Adam's ribs
This side quest's in a game that I'd rather skip