Winter Song

I know these months can seem tough
I know the winter can feel endless
But I'm telling you right now
You don't have to live like this
But you never listen
No matter how hard anybody tries
Begging, pleading, you need to moisturize

Your skin is dry
Yeah you can't deny
Your elbows look like they're doing cocaine
Your dermatologist doubles as a desert ecologist
Yeah, the tundra of your arms drives me insane

Through cracked lips you say to me
Oh, it's not that bad, just let me be
But as you say that, I can't help but see your lips split open and start to bleed
Don't tell me that you're doing fine
Your blood's just white wine
You put super-glue in your contact lens
And your armpit hair has got split ends

Your skin is dry
Yeah you can't deny
Your knees look like they're used as sticks of chalk
So if you don't moisturize
I'll have to grab you by the thighs
And drag you across the sidewalk

When you take a bath, your fingers turn into grapes

Your skin is dry
Yeah you can't deny
I wonder if that's why I've never seen you cry
So if you should fall down right now and die
I'll never forget you
Because your body will automatically self-mummify