Late Nights Near Bizzaro Lane

I think twenty-eighteen was when it all started
Beginning of my downfall becoming broken hearted
I would say cold but that would be another lie
And there's no reason too unless I'm tryna save my pride
And ego is a damned thing destroys relationships
And you would rather lie to who you love than
Deal with a guilt trip, what does that say about you?
I don't know
Yeah you do
It means that you're a coward and you'd rather try to fly the coop
I don't think either of us wanted to admit
The signs were there from the beginning that
I would turn into a bitch
And I don't cuss much these days but that was well deserved
I wanna see the old me in a hearse
Forgive my past self for his misgivings nah
I can't until you do
You're the one I hurt and put into a period of blue
Take away the light and leave you begging to the moon
While the shadows become mine and we just live in gloom
Another song about my ex, oh come on Godinho
Get your head out from the mud
You know this life is a casino
You know the house always wins
You know that you were born to sin
And you know she's not eating don't ask her why she's thin
If you really cared you would've never did her wrong
She never would've your best friend that
You be sharing hits with of the bong
Never would've hurt him in the process of trying to get over you
But, you know that you started his pain, don't try to act brand new
Love is destructive I think you know the drill
Your routine back then was every day to take a different pill
Trying to feel the thrill until you fall ill
Don't try to blame the drugs for your trauma
You were born with it, root of all evil, let the demons visit
Bad habits bore from a bad brain
Disconnected to this Earth unless you feel a lot of pain
Love never kept you grounded why should happiness
Maybe you're just bitter cause she hated all your nastiness
And she had a reason, violent acts were normal come and go
Just like a season, pointing fingers isn't helpful so
I never spoke of treason, but this one time we were arguing
Late at night like usual
Parked at Bizzaro Lane, you were calling me delusional
Nothing new except this time you had called a lifeline
You just wanted them to listen to the venom that I spew
But I wasn't having it, took your apple watch hung up
Right back to arguing, ten minutes later I get a call
From my moms, asking me yo where you at
And she didn't say it calm come to find out
Cops had pulled up to my home
Woke my parents up in the middle of the night
Just to say we heard your son is beating on his wife
Where's he at so we can talk to him
But no one knew a thing they went to her house too
Still couldn't find us I hadn't laid a finger on her
Why should I be punished
There's more to that story but that's what I'll say for now
Open up about my evils how I got this crown
I'm the King of Grief

Twenty-nineteen was even worse, I would tell you about it
But I can't remember anything that happened
I just know I kept messing up, kept telling lies
Was still an awful person contemplating suicide
I wrote a lot of notes and I mentioned your name
My savior and my killer who grew tired of the game
Just give me another chance I promise that I'll change
Another chance another chance washed away in rain
My garden started truly wilting and I saw the damage
Nothing would be able to stop your urges to vanish so I
Tried the best I could, borderline schizophrenic
Manifested all my pain, you weren't perfect either but
I know that I can take the blame, all roads lead back
To that first mistake, to set me on the path I'm on now
I think I see the daybreak and out from the light
I can see the Seraphim coming, maybe its the revelation
I can hear the drumming
If I can't forgive myself I know that God will
And he'll take me in his arms and finally I'll feel fulfilled
Finally I'll, finally I'll feel fulfilled

Heaven doesn't laugh only smiles and stares
I truly wish you the best so I keep you in my prayers