No Love

Man these women don't love me
They want me to be everything I'm not
I'm just living my life
The best feeling I ever got
Was spitting fire to a mic at 2 o clock, now I unlock
These memories that's hurting, cause it's all I got to talk about
They wasn't with me when suicide was thought about
I thought that basketball would be my way but this another route
I'm dealing with changes, with old friends creating new doubts

I put my heart into these beats but they don't hear me though
I know it's crazy I ain't ever in the studio
Flow all this fire from my room
Know that ima blow up soon
How I'm passing up on dimes feel like Rubio

I just ain't got the time for you to enter my mind
I'm too focused on this mission, trying to stay on my grind
Trying to stack up all this chicken, buy a crib for my mom
My people know that ima blow, they call my flow Vietnam

Really living what I write, that's how I know they can relate
They say my flow be like a drug, safe to say I'm pushing weight
Know I got it, I ain't tripping, told my mama that we straight
I treat the booth like it's the kitchen, cooking up, I serve a plate

Yeah, I know she know the drill, so we ain't going on a date
When she dome me, I say well done, I treat her like a steak
They like Coach E when you dropping?
I say sorry for the wait
I'm internalizing thoughts before I put em on a tape
Still be writing from my room sometimes I wish I could escape
I know that can't nobody save me, I'm the one that's wearing the cape
She just fishing for attention, using filters as the bait
Tell em beauty on the inside, it's in your mental state
Messed me up, you hurt me bad, now when I'm finished gotta skate
We speaking two different languages, can't nobody translate
You convinced I did you wrong, listening to what your friends say
Carry hurt right on my back, I can't even stand straight

Feel this music in my soul, it be calling me to it
Always said I'd be a hooper, never thought it'd be music
For many days and many nights, I swear I thought I would lose it
Yeah I knew that I was great, but I was failing to prove it
I put my faith and all my trust into some people they blew it
If we was brothers, tell me why we never move as a unit
Know I always been solid, and you can't ever dispute it
Cause any time I made a plan, you was always included

Know that life bigger than now, I just gotta get through it
I thought that was hooping was my purpose, it turned out to be music
So many nights that I would struggle, really thought I would lose it
Every cubic centimeter of my spirit was Rubik
Til I started rapping, think that's what they call therapeutic
You broke my heart, and ever since I ain't been talking to Cupid
I speak my truth into these beats, cause to my people I'm muted
You can find me in my room, I'm meditating secluded
Sometimes it hard to be social, just know my pain deeply rooted
When I was growing up, they loved me all the love was exuded
But when they taught me bout struggles, mental health was excluded
If I ain't know about the issue how I'm supposed to improve it
Then meditation saved my life, it taught me how to defuse it
I'm steady fighting for my life, somehow it kept me from losing
Showed me worth in all my dreams so I just gotta pursue it
Showed me worth in having life, it changed the way that I view it