Gap

I don't have the language for this conversation
I don't know where it went, swear I once had the pages
I don't know when it went, caught me off my guard
But I'm tryna figure out the problem, trying to guess and guess

I think I need a cat scan - all these wounds are fresh, and
I don't know who I am, but that's a stupid fucking question
Make me feel nauseous - you know what? Imma ignore this
Let's talk about something else, I could use a distraction

So tell me more about you
The things you like to do
The things that turn you on
And how you keep going on
When every day's the same
When you don't got much of option

Shit, I'm back where I began
Back in front of the lion

Staring into its mouth
Now I'm stepping onto its tongue
In here I got to crouch
Now I shut the jaw behind
Plunge into the black
Fingers brush against its teeth
And there's nothing but an echo
And only when I breathe

I am out of it, I am out at sea
Come to think of it, I'm out in space
Got no weight, anti-gravity
I am not myself, someone tell me what that is
Got no shape, look at my dissolving hands and feet

Whose hand is this?
But it's on my arm
Funny it's so hard to tell what is mine
What's the landscape, huh? What is me?
How can I be certain that I don't want what I don't want

I am cardboard, these trees are cardboard
Lately I've been asking a lotta "What for?"
Where's my arc, Paulie?
I'm about to walk off
Doesn't matter what I've done
I'll find a way to stay tortured

Maybe I should write a bit
Maybe I should die a bit
Walk on and watch the sky-high birds fly a bit
How else to find peace, with all that striving shit?
All that 'what the hell kind of disguise is this' disquisition?

Then I stopped in my tracks
It came in the gap
Creature hopped by and it came in a flash

Baby, are you ready?
I am off to the next step
4 - 3 - 2 - 1
I'm gone