Good Afternoon

Now, fellow, here you are
In a shitty British bar
With a frothy little frown upon your lips
Another pinty for me friend, extra warm!

(Your accent blows)
Well, I beg to differ

As you're drowning in that ale
You're feeling like a failure
Sorrier than soggy fish and chips

But you don't have to sit and pout
Just let your inner Scrooge come out
'Cause why should any other jerk enjoy his day?
When you're down in the dumps
And need some cheering-upsies

Turn and tap
A hapless chap
And sweetly say

Good afternoon!
Good afternoon!
(Well, I never!)
Just let one fly and you'll be smiling pretty soon
Like this!
Good afternoon!
(I beg your pardon?)
You pompous ass
It's like "piss off" but with a little touch of class

Oh, two little words can totally change your tune
Good afternoon!
Good afternoon!
Good afternoon!

So you've done nothing wrong
In so very, very long
And I get it's an important point of pride
(It's part of my job)
But come on, now, don't stay quiet
You know you want to try it
Better to never let all of the bitter be bottled up inside

(Oi! Out of the road, dingus!)
Oh, come on, bub!
He's got it coming
You know you want to
Come on, it's right there
Just let it

Good afternoon!
(Yes!)
Good afternoon!
(The hell you say?)
Sir, you're a wankerous, cantankerous buffoon
(What's all this, then?)
Good afternoon!
You smell of shite
Now, he didn't say good morning or goodnight
That's right!

Yes, two little words can totally change your tune
Good afternoon!
Good afternoon!
Good afternoon!

She clogged the loo
Good afternoon!
He diddled your wife
Good afternoon!
It meant not a thing, I swear upon my life!
Good afternoon!
He has the plague
Good afternoon!
She called you a whore
Good afternoon!
I'm an orphan, please, sir, may I have some more?
Good afternoon!

Hello, governor
Good afternoon!
Pardon his French
Good afternoon!
Just deplore 'em with decorum like you're Judy bloody Dench

Wait... wait... was that Judy Dench?
Oh my god, she's a national treasure
I love her in everything
I loved her in,um, that... Chocolate
Chocolat
Chocolat

While we're stuntin' through the streets of London Town
The quickest little pick-me-up is kicking people down

Good afternoon!
It's tons of fun
And if you're shocked, then you can kiss my Dickens, son!

Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Kiss it, son!
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, stop!
What?
Stop
No, it's Charles Dickens, it's a fun little thing, and
Yes, thank you, but there is a baby, and
There's a baby!
Madam, I am so sorry
And ma'am
Good afternoon!

Good afternoon!
Our favourite swear
Just let a little vile fill the village square

A pin to pop some prick's balloon
And nobody is immune
Like giving a man a kick in the pantaloon

Oh, two little words can totally change your tune
Good afternoon!
Good afternoon!
Good afternoon!
Good afternoon!
Good afternoon!
Good afternoon!

Good afternoon!
Good afternoon!
Good afternoon!
Good afternoon!