Banana Slug Song

The Banana Slugs are out in force
They make a tasty meal, of course
Suck them dry when first you meet
They're also easy to reheat

I like to call them "nanna slugs"
They're easier to catch than bugs
Banana Slugs will be your meal
In methods that I will reveal

Boil them, bake them, shake-and-bake them
Nibble on their heads and make them
Oooey, gooey, rich and chewy
Put them in a wok: chop suey
Fry them after lightly breading
All the vitamins you're getting
When you steam them, seem like drivel
Once you see how much they shrivel

They're only bitter on the outside
When you put them in a blender
You will render a meal you will remember for the rest of your life

Boiling makes a soup that's yummy
When they crawl around your tummy
As they try to get out they will scream and scream and scream
Before they come out of your throat
You must create a salty moat
When they touch salt they start to shrivel
Down your stomach it will tickle

A couple of scoops of ice cream and some chocolate
Will make you a meal that's a real banana split
You can make them into milkshakes
But you've got to remember
To clean out the blender
'Cause they kind of stick to the sides

Once, when I was standing outdoors
Barefoot, enjoying a pleasantly nice day
I discovered a Banana Slug on my foot trying to eat my toe
Suddenly I noticed more slugs coming my way
I ran, screaming, from the voracious hoard
As I still do to this day
When I find myself barefooted outdoors and see a Banana Slug
In fact, I believe Banana Slugs to be one of the most vicious
And pathological predators of human beings on the planet
There are only two reasons why we don't hear more horror stories
Of Banana Slug related deaths
First, they're not very smart
They can't plan ahead, use tools, or lure their prey with clever bait
Second, and this is the important thing to remember
If you ever find yourself in a life-threatening situation
Where a Banana Slug has the upper hand
They are very, very slow

Chop them, pound them, slice them, dice them
All of these will be quite nice, then
You can even make them into julienne fries
Any way that you prepare them
Works quite well, I shouldn't tell you
But your parents feed you slugs and call it stew

The 'Nana Slugs I'll share with you
But only if you ask me to
I think that I'll go have a snack
Please sing this song 'till I get back