Self-Sinking, So What? (2019 Recording)

Thanks for all that truth you bring
Reminding me that I'm a whore
I did not need to remember that any more
Than I already do to keep myself self-aware
And ensure that I am scared
Of everything

I know that you'd never call me a slut, but I would
And that's self-depreciation, but so what?
I said what I could
And took it for granted
That you could listen
Whenever I vented

Constantly complained and barely even meant it
Reading it over, it was clearly egocentric
Now I am jealous because you have friends and
I am too nervous to talk to them when
You are around or we're sitting down
To eat out our problems
Now I am losing pounds
Yet drowning in my weight
I already ate enough
I can never make enough
sense of issues I made up, and

I am sinking
You are wading
And I wait for another chance

I know that you'd never call me a slut, but I would
And that's self-depreciation, but so what?
I said what I could

Never said what I needed, so no one could feed it
Still do not know what it is except that it is lacking
Leaving slack on the rope to keep my jaw open
Sometimes I was hopeless, so I said it loud
so you go in my mouth, now I can't tell you nothing
My ground and misaligned teeth were hard to clean
but now that they are straight, messes are easy to see