Samuel Godinho

My name is Samuel Godinho I was born under the full moon
Nocturnal spirit but the day has passed too soon
I don't think I really got a chance to live my childhood
Always focused on the next thing and always what I could do
In my life but I'm only twenty-three yet it feels like
I've been alive for centuries
My memory is gone and so are half the things that made me happy
Try to capture it in song but I don't wanna sound sappy
Nature versus Nurture don't know where I got sick from
But it's in my nature to be nurtured by bounds of endless love
I don't think that's asking much
But I feel I don't deserve it that's the funny thing because
I never do the hurting
I've been a victim more times than I ever told a lie
But I can't distinguish what is real and what's inside my mind
I've been losing touch for years and it's only getting worse but
I would do everything not to end up in a hearse
But before I go I wanna form some meaningful connections
A friendship where I don't have to actively suppress any parts
Of my persona
I'm scared of being real so I'd rather be a loner
Have you got the message yet
Struggle with duality so I can never be in check
Always flip-flopping never stable always in my head
Praying every night for when I don't sleep in an empty bed, well
I don't pray every night I mean I used too but
I'm looking for a different light and I love God but
He never helped me in this fight
Countless hours that I spent, screaming in the night
On my knees and begging for a big neon sign but
Maybe I was destined to go through this life blind
I guess it doesn't matter I'm used to being all alone
Samuel Godinho born another rolling stone look

Find a hundred different ways to say the same things
All my songs just talk about what this life brings which is
Depression, emptiness, rage and sins
All I really need to do is try and get a win
But even when I do will that happiness be temporary
Long lost at sea lonely are the visionaries
Everything I write about is rooted in my pain so
Once I get better what will there be left to say?
I guess I would just make my raps in a different way
But if inspiration's lightning know it never hits the same place
Women are my favorite muse but
They make me hop back on the booze
Life is better handled when you're so drunk you start to snooze
I wanna be soothed tired of being strong I wanna be moved
Fighting tooth and nail cause I don't wanna lose
Lose more than I've already lost
Squandered friendships when I was nothing more than moss
Threw away a good girl cause I wanted to be God and
My last name holds that power I feel like such a fraud
Years went away was it power that I sought?
Or am I just afraid that I can be easily bought?
I don't wanna be here I don't wanna rot
So I'm stuck in the middle between urges that I fought
And I'm crying by myself I am nothing more than lost
I'm lost
I'm looking for a way, to get out of my head
But the voices never stop tell me that I'm worth more if I'm dead
Only then will I be celebrated
I'll finally get my flowers, here lies Samuel the crooked man of hour
The taste that's on my tongue is sour
Like I should limp away and cower
You've seen through my facade and you've seen the real me and
It was nice to meet you cause knowing me just ruins me
You realize that I'm twisted, I'm broken, maybe I can't be fixed
Imma try anyways cause why would I exist?
There's nothing more to life it's just a never ending trip
You live a happy life and still be gone in just a blip so
Why should you resist cause
I don't wanna live an empty life saying
I wish and I've been left feeling remiss but
My name is Samuel Godinho I am petrified of death
I like to build bridges just to burn them in the end
And I'll cry over the ashes wishing I could make amends
When I did it to myself I know it's all my fault but it's okay cause
I know that everything falls, everything dies
So the trick is have a happy life I'm still figuring it out
But I know I'll find the light inside, I hope