2021-11-16

Why must I wake now
Before light hits the glass
How will I leave this time
I'll have to make it fast

So I'll run on Balbo and take my time crossing Wabash and Michigan
As the cold bites my lips and the breath exudes from my mouth
Theo greets me with the wide open garden
Before I cross the bridge over the Metra tracks
That have threatened me many times before

I walk to the grass that will surely dampen my shoes
And start to vomit near that little metal sculpture

I'll feel you there
Looking up at the night sky
Gazing at the clouds, planes, chemtrails, and meteors
With a face full of stars
Drawing me in to witness the beauty that occupy the space
An existence of scattered purity
And all that could possibly be offered in the world
But when I try and look up
There's nothing to see through the smog
And my little dipper that's stuck by me all this time
Is nowhere to be found
And I'll truly look around

You're not there

The trees surround me
And I'll vomit more
And feel her there
'Cause she knows
That I can't get it any other way

I think I should go away
I think I should be by myself for a bit