Slave to the Sun

I have to wash myself every night
To clear out the dirt that sits in
The wrinkles between all the
Feelings that hurt my insides
There's insects in my brain parts
And grubs in my guts,
No amount of soap seems
To ever be enough,
For the only person He can be
Is none other than himself,
And that person happens To be me
Maybe it's the hour of day
Or the scent of the autumn rain,
But the emotional arthritis has
Of recent been inflamed
And as much as I'd like to point
My finger in inarticulate blame,
It is the way it always was
And there is no one name
Call it life fatigue or
Call it someone
who constantly complains,
But no amount of any pills
Ever seems to dull the pain
I havnt been sober
Since I was fourteen,
And if you're wondering
I wasn't planning on going clean
And I am known to exaggerate
And hyperbolize thoughts
but if thinkin were blood,
Hell mine would be stopped up
With clots
So heavy are my eyelids
And rapid is my heart,
For every day I stop at the
Same place I did start
Maybe it's divine fate
Or just the body I've been gave,
But I feel this will never stop
Until my final grave
Maybe it's the clouds or
The music lately I been hearing,
But no matter what I do
Tomorrow never quits nearing
I suppose i am trapped
In the life I currently live,
So tomorrow I will wake
And my soul I will give,
To the day that comes forth,
I am a slave to the sun,
But I guess I'll stick around
To let the movie course run