Poor Little Millionaire

Hotel Del Coronado, may I help you?
Hotel Del Coronado, may I be of service?
Hotel Del Coronado, please hold

Aging Mr. Fielding
Telegram, telegram!
Home for Mr. Fielding
Wall Street calling
Your mother calling
Just Mr. Fielding wants the key to your success!
He seems to float above a world that's totally a mess!

Well!
They say the Great Depression's gotten everybody's goat
But Pops invented root beer, and it's keeping me afloat!
And so I've sailed the seven seas to find myself a mate
Love comes and goes, and heaven knows, I've spent a lot on bait!
Yes, money can be made or lost, for that's what money does
But that's not why at night I cry
The reason is because

I like sailing on every coast
I've got millions, but I can't boast
Because I'm missing what I need most
I'm a poor little millionaire!

Most girls think I'm a perfect match
They see me and think, "ooh, what a catch!"
But all my lovers go down the hatch
I'm a poor little millionaire!

I pay my taxes, I got no debt
I'm just a little pot of gold!
So I keep casting out my fishing net
But the only thing I catch is a cold!

But I'll keep sailing across the sea
Until that siren starts beckoning me
And when we merge, I'll no longer be
Just a poor little millionaire!

The Hotel Del Coronado, we made it!
Smell that ocean air
It almost makes you wanna run away to Mexico
It looks like a movie set!
I've never seen anything like it
The view is absolutely beautiful!

I was sitting in sad repose
But then the boat started rockin'
And there she blows!
So now I'm hoping that Lorelei goes
For a poor little millionaire!

I've kept in a-hab, I'm in my prime
And I could show you a whale of a time
I pray you aren't put off that I'm
Just a poor little millionaire!

I've been looking for a gal for whom
Cash is not an Aphrodisiac
'Cause the nights are lonely, only countin' your stash
And though I love my money
It doesn't kiss back!

Do you believe in love at first sight?
It sure is wettin' my appetite
So say you'll sail on my yacht tonight
With this poor little millionaire!

Ooh, allow me to introduce myself
I'm Osgood Fielding the third

I guess that makes me Cinderella the second!

I'm the proprietor of this humble oasis
We aim to make our guests feel equally welcome
And properly pampered
May I help with your case?

I can do my own heavy lifting, thank you!

You must be with the band!
I have a front row table to your show tonight

I'll try not to spit on you

Oh, don't hold back on my account!
I'm a Pisces!

Good, then you know there's other fish in the sea

Pardon me, might you know that young Aphrodite's name?

Who, Daphne?!

Daphne! Time stands still!
Daphne!

My poor love life was all at sea
I was all resigned to walk the plank
But now my heart's feeling quite fancy free
So let's bust open my piggy bank!

Be my matey and say "aye, aye!"
The next step, baby, we'll hit the sky!
On the kind of happiness money can't buy
With your poor little millionaire!
Millionaire!