Strife of the Party

Every time I go to parties I always wanna seem
Like I'm the most fun out of anybody there
But every time I open up my mouth and nothing good is coming out
I think about how much funnier I am on Adderall
Eleven PM and I took too many shots
In an attempt to quell my crippling anxiety
So now I'm just the drunk girl with her tits out
And vomit in her hair, crying about whatever
I tried so hard to be one of them
I forgot who I really am instead

I just want to be invited 'til it's time to go
I just want to be your biggest source of energy
But I guess that's too much to ask of me anymore
I'm just too old to keep putting on that show

Every time I'm at a bar I make sure I look hot and mean
So no one will pressure me to talk
Conveniently for me if you get trashed enough
No one expects you to form coherent thoughts
Cause talking to strangers doesn't come so naturally to me
Now that I'm a little more self aware, just a little though
I'm nervous so of course I drank too many beers
Now I'm more confident but so obnoxious
That now nobody wants me here
I tried so hard to be the life of the party
That now I'm broke and don't know my own name
I tried so hard to be liked by everybody
Now nobody likes me at all, ain't that a bitch

I just want to be invited 'til it's time to go
I just want to be your biggest source of energy
But I guess that's too much to ask of me anymore
I'm just too old to keep putting on that show
I just want to be invited 'til it's time to go
I just want to be your biggest source of energy
But I guess that's too much to ask of me anymore
I'm just too old to keep putting on that show
Somebody tell my ride I'm tryna go
I'm high as fuck and everybody knows
My brain is fucking screaming, take me home