Anonymous Alcoholic
Counselor: Greetings & salutations, my name is Jason Ortiz
Counselor: I will be your counselor for today
Counselor: Welcome to this week's Alcoholics Anonymous meeting
Counselor: We have a new member with us today
Counselor: Um, ducks
Dux: Dukes
Counselor: Oh, sorry about that - dukes
Counselor: Go ahead and stand up and uh
Counselor: Tell us a little about yourself, please
Dux: Hi, I'm Dux
* Cracks open a beer can
Dux: And I'm an alcoholic
Dux: Uh, you know you can call me
Counselor: Excuse me, sir, are you
Counselor: Are you drinking a beer
Dux: Well, yeah - is there something wrong here
Counselor: Sir, this is an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting
Counselor: There's no drinking on the premises
Dux: Well, uh I thought, you know
Dux: I'm an alcoholic, right, just like you
Dux: Right, and uh I'm here anonymously
Dux: I thought this was like a safe haven
* Dux burps
Counselor: Sir, this is not how it works
Counselor: We're here to help each other overcome our addiction
Counselor: Not to get together and have a drink or two
Dux: Well there's some fine print for you
Dux: I mean, I'm here anonymously, you know
Dux: How is that counseling, dude
Dux: I wanna talk about my problems
Counselor: Sir, you know what, I'm sorry sir
Counselor: You're gonna have to leave the premises
Dux: No, I'm not gonna leave the premises
Dux: You leave the premises
Counselor: Security, can we please get this individual out of here
Dux: Hey, hey, why you - why you pushing, hey
Dux: Check this out, I'm here anonymously, man
Dux: I just wanna talk about my problems, man
Counselor: I will be your counselor for today
Counselor: Welcome to this week's Alcoholics Anonymous meeting
Counselor: We have a new member with us today
Counselor: Um, ducks
Dux: Dukes
Counselor: Oh, sorry about that - dukes
Counselor: Go ahead and stand up and uh
Counselor: Tell us a little about yourself, please
Dux: Hi, I'm Dux
* Cracks open a beer can
Dux: And I'm an alcoholic
Dux: Uh, you know you can call me
Counselor: Excuse me, sir, are you
Counselor: Are you drinking a beer
Dux: Well, yeah - is there something wrong here
Counselor: Sir, this is an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting
Counselor: There's no drinking on the premises
Dux: Well, uh I thought, you know
Dux: I'm an alcoholic, right, just like you
Dux: Right, and uh I'm here anonymously
Dux: I thought this was like a safe haven
* Dux burps
Counselor: Sir, this is not how it works
Counselor: We're here to help each other overcome our addiction
Counselor: Not to get together and have a drink or two
Dux: Well there's some fine print for you
Dux: I mean, I'm here anonymously, you know
Dux: How is that counseling, dude
Dux: I wanna talk about my problems
Counselor: Sir, you know what, I'm sorry sir
Counselor: You're gonna have to leave the premises
Dux: No, I'm not gonna leave the premises
Dux: You leave the premises
Counselor: Security, can we please get this individual out of here
Dux: Hey, hey, why you - why you pushing, hey
Dux: Check this out, I'm here anonymously, man
Dux: I just wanna talk about my problems, man
Credits
Writer(s): Jason Ortiz, Robert Hill
Lyrics powered by www.musixmatch.com
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