To Be Soft Pt.II (Tribute to The Brave Little Abacus/Momentary Realisation Of The State)

When I was a boy, I laughed way too hard
Just like a child
When i was with you, on top of those clouds
Hiding from the truth, that I was beside myself

To go, alone
In the dark
Will I be fine?
To know, for sure
That it's time to leave behind

I still remember what we did and what we said
Whenever and wherever we were
From sleeping right before a show
To riding anywhere for any reason
And all the days where we stayed up for many hours

We travelled (all over)
Unravelled (this town)
Miraculous memories (tonight)
But it was all over before it could continue

To go, to know
That it's hard, to be soft
To go, to show
That it's hard to be fine
To go, alone
In the dark
Where I'm blind

I intended to be a better person
I pretended to be a happy person
I misunderstood my foolish disposition
And retained all of the useless information

I had a mental breakdown on new years
I kept reintroducing my new fears
I am rewinding back to a time when
Nothing meant everything to me

She rejected the pink triangle livestock branded across my loneliness
Disregarding the permanence
Of these coloured tattoos failing to vanish
I refuse to disclose the ugliness hidden under my paranoia
I bred the pathogenic dysphoria
Flowing and burning through my veins

I did not mean for this part to sound like Beach Life-In-Death!
I never meant for this heart to be ashamed of its warpath

But I'm tired of being a puppet
To the hatred that will not forfeit
I'm already so goddamn pathetic
Disillusioned into being apathetic
If I could just keep on drumming
And not have to care about breathing
I would sing until I'm not standing
Just to search for a truth so compelling

But I failed at everything
I tore the blueprints
I miss my friends
And I still miss the band
But as I said before life goes on
Why did I lie? Why did I curse myself to

Always, always be good