Motions

I've been going through the motions, I've been going through 'em
Yeah
I've been going through the motions, I've been sipping on the potion
I've been following commotion, going through it
Yeah

I've been going through the motion, sipping on the potion
Following commotion, bottling emotion
I've been going through it
Yeah
I've been going through the motions, sipping on the potion
Following commotion, bottling emotion
In my cocoon
Yeah, not coming loose

I've been going through some shit for a while now
Ex told me to go therapy I'm like, "Hell nah"
No need for a shrink, it'll pan out
Fast forward few months, no change, wow
Same jiggy ass mentality, no destination
No spirituality, no restoration
No morality, just fornicating
Tryna escape, and go get some (go get some)
Stack em up like trophies
Keep the case clean, no phonies
Looking for a badass tenderoni
Smooth criminal, bussin' down you know me
Where's the gain from this game that I'm playing
Cause all I really want is potency
Fraternizing with the Jesibelles and Natalies
Looking in the mirror, I don't notice me, pain
Longing for serotonin and cheap thrills
Used to be meek, now there's no chill
Used to be sweet, now there's no goodwill
Running through the jungle, like I'm down in Brazil
Downing these pills, drowning in bills
Smoked out like grills, runout refill
Keeping it trill, not feeling distilled
This lifestyle kills, rolling downhill
Stuck In the upside down, something like Will

I've been going through the motion, sipping on the potion
Following commotion, bottling emotion
I've been going through it
Yeah
I've been going through the motions, sipping on the potion
Following commotion, bottling emotion
In my cocoon
Yeah, not coming loose

Suicidal ideation came through my mind
For the first time, hit me like I was blind
Moments leading up I thought I was sublime
Bottled up emotions erupted up like dynamite
TNT, Sweet T&T
Felt like a scene out ATL
Not T-I-P, talking Donnie G
It was so surreal, it was hard to feel
Brain went numb (numb), needed to heal
Rose to the pedestal, and there I fell, from grace (from grace)
Ostracized, felt demoralized by my peers
Lowest moments in your life, you find out who's sincere
True colors revealed, makes things clear
Rumors spreading prior by the very same peers
Stabbed in the back full force with spears
Makes you wonder bout who you choose to keep near
Makes you reevaluate who you holding dear
Thank God I'm out of that atmosphere
Not preaching I'm a saint by any means
Not spreading propaganda for sympathy
Not telling anyone the motherfuckin tea
I just have one question honestly
If we were metaphorically family
Tell me why nobody cared to checked in on me?

Malcolm... Where are you?
I'm just going through the motions
Sipping on the potion
Following commotion
Bottling emotion
I've been going through it
In my cocoon
Not coming loose