Grief

I go through life with so much grief
I close my eyes but I can't sleep
I hope one day I rest in peace
But until then I keep on weeping I like to wallow in my sorrows
Find solace in the bottle problems drowned with every swallow
Try to maximize my time cause I know the time I got is borrowed
But all my days end up the same my yesterdays look like tomorrow
And my bills just multiply I got this phone and rent and car note
Try to find the positives but negatives in my Wells Fargo
My energy gets over drafted heavy weighted lotta cargo
I went and sold my chain it makes me question if my heart gold
I walk around I'm always smiling but I cant lie this shit ain't easy
Cause inside I'm really down but I don't frown know its deceiving
And I don't wanna let em' down cause I got people and they need me
But tell who the fuck can I call when my heart gets tired of beating
Tell me who the fuck I count on when my minds a bit uneasy
When my pride and self esteem starts to decline and I get sleepy
Tired of dealing with this life cant close my eyes cause I start dreaming
And my nightmares getting stronger been exercising all my demons

They tell me it's, part of the process it's part of the gain
They tell me I gotta keep on working disregard all the pain
While distractions stay attacking me, my heart and my brain
I put in all this fucking time they still disregarding my name
As time pass these negative thoughts are getting hard to contain
I'm tired of taking all these losses I gotta charge to the game
And everybody sees my failures that shits part of my shame
That's why I put it on a song and try to market my pain
And I had people I thought love me its been a minute since they call me
Use to tell me that they got me now it looks like they forgot me
Use to call me when they need me, now its me who needs somebody
Been feeling like I'm finna crash no one to slow me down or stop me
I'm always there for them to lean on, when I need it they disregard me
Never quick to show forgiveness yet they quick to say they sorry
Always act a bit indifferent when the road gets really rocky
But if I swerved and then I died then they'd be grieving really sloppy
I know

I go through life with so much grief
I close my eyes but I can't sleep
I hope one day I rest in peace, like