Okay (Raw Demo Version)

I used to have the devil on my shoulder
Telling me to go hard
I deserve to feel okay
But now I'm getting older
Feeling more alone
Can't stop thinking about my early grave
The drugs will help me zone out
Helps me take the cold out
I deserve to feel okay
I'd love to take my girl out
Bring her the whole world out
These thoughts are keeping me restrained
I'm not okay

I don't want to be the last person I'll ever meet
Staring into eyes that are mine and see defeat
Dig into my weaknesses for leverage like a cleat
Reconfigurations tweaked for heaven like deceit
Isn't the whole point to die sinless, pure
But I destroyed myself senseless, impure
Went from sifting through the mess I left
And trying to make sense of it
To shifting the whole mess I left
And rhyming to make cents of it
Pissed and blessed, invested in
My recipe for success, and then
Wifey and I will flex
On an island off Key West, I bet you
All the air in my lungs within my chest
If I leap to the next step
I'll walk the rest and still be the best
It's all my fault though, I got lost in duress
Cost me my relationship with my daughter nonetheless
I got sick of always having to prove I should be next
In line, cause as her father all I wanted was respect

I used to have the devil on my shoulder
Telling me to go hard
I deserve to feel okay
But now I'm getting older
Feeling more alone
Can't stop thinking about my early grave
The drugs will help me zone out
Helps me take the cold out
I deserve to feel okay
I'd love to take my girl out
Bring her the whole world out
These thoughts are keeping me restrained
I'm not okay

Why do I feel like damaged goods off the street
When you see me with my hood up
I'm not cold, that's just me
Isolate from all thing's life
Aside from food water and weed
Ok fine and oxygen
But hey, a homey got to breathe
Other than that you can save it
There's nothing worth staying for
Wait, these words I made
And the beats that I say them for
Create these worlds of relief
To release the decay I hoard
If elation were disease
I believe I'd remain uncured
I love warm embraces and hugs
That's what my kids are for
Wifey you too
No need to deal with any more whores
So close to being set
Almost no need to live, it's a shame
Feel free to take me away
When I reach Kurt Cobain's band's name
You can call these songs a memoir
Stories back from when war
Waged itself inside of me
I knew I couldn't let more
Rage build up inside of me
I wish I used my head more
Prayer don't work entirely
Am I supposed to beg more

I used to have the devil on my shoulder
Telling me to go hard
I deserve to feel okay
But now I'm getting older
Feeling more alone
Can't stop thinking about my early grave
The drugs will help me zone out
Helps me take the cold out
I deserve to feel okay
I'd love to take my girl out
Bring her the whole world out
These thoughts are keeping me restrained
I'm not okay