Kokaine. (Outro)

I ain't gon lie
There was a time where I just didn't know what love was
I couldn't tell
Fresh out of middle school
I was crackin thru my shell
Body made in heaven, but she dragged through hell
To me, she was a W
To her, I was an L
Who knew kids could be this toxic
Took all of her shit till I damn near lost it
Took a couple years until I realized I was used and abused
And was any of it worth it
It depends on your view
I knew a shordy who would play with my emotions like a game
Couple shordies told me cause I wasn't reppin', I was lame
Told a shordy I had fell for her, was tryna be her flame
She went and fucked all on my mans, I never looked at him the same
Met a shordy who would teach the boy that love is like cocaine
When you on it, it's a miracle that's fuckin' up your brain
And you off it, all that hurt that you ignored is like a train
Because it hits you at full speed
And your whole world turns into pain
At least it did for me
That ain't no shit for kids
Yeah, we was young, that don't excuse you for the shit you did
You gave me demons that would haunt me for the years to come
So now talk to them whenever I be feeling numb
I gave y'all everything I had when I had nothin' to give
I gave a girl my life when I ain't even want to live
I wish I left em' all alone and left those words unspoken
Cause all them promises they made to me were fuckin' broken

I like cocaine, but not the powder
I like the high
The feeling of being on cloud nine
Mind fried
Only thinking about what's ahead on me
Believing the past is dead to me
I hate overthinking, so I do cocaine
But it's not cocaine
It's the feeling of seeing your name pop up in my notifications
It's the feeling of having enough relations to give birth to a new nation
It's that feeling you have before everything begins to go wrong
I'm going through withdrawals
Banging my head against the walls
Telling myself I don't need it
Knowing I do
Knowing the pain is something I can't take
Knowing the truth is something I can't face
She's gone
She never loved you
She played you like the art of war
Her real name is Sun Tzu
Kicked my emotions around like she was practicing kung fu
Your mistake was to lie to me, and mines was to trust you
Switched from red hearts to blue hearts in my texts cause I'm cold-hearted
I don't love like I used to
Couldn't take the hint
She gave it to me like a Blue's Clue
My friends tryna see if I'm good, in my ear like a Bluetooth
Talkin bout I'm goin cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs
And maybe I am
Cause there wasn't a moment I wasn't smiling when you had me
Wore that smile like it was makeup
Could've called me a drag king
Hid my depression better than the formula for Krabby Patties
I was the Fred to your Daphne
But now you look at me like I'm Shaggy
How could you lead me on, pump me up like a balloon, just to pop it
Stop it, drop it, and roll over my confidence
Broke up my mental stability like Pangaea, the seven continents
It wasn't an accident, it was evil, and there wasn't no consequence
And it's just not fair
I can't move on from the love I thought you were giving me
For a year, how could you pretend you were into me
I thought you had my back, you even acted like a mini me
Then you hit me with that bullet like I'm John F. Kennedy
You shot down hope
You shot down happiness
You took my positivity and left me with your nastiness
Sick, diluted, twisted thoughts
I'm lost in your negativity
It's hitting me over and over and over again
I should go to rehab
But no one's had deeper conversations than we have
Put a smile on my face like I put on a ski mask
Then you kicked me to the curb like I was this week's trash
I can't trust nobody no more
Cause what if they do me like you did
I'm scared to talk to anyone these days, cause the truth is
Ion wanna be wrapped around somebody finger, lookin stupid
Like 6ix9ine in a jail cell, or Juice Wrld dreaming lucid
I still see your shadows in my room
Dancing across my walls, surrounding me
Grounding me to the point where I can't move
And your memory was something I didn't wanna lose
But I can't be addicted forever
I love cocaine
But it's not cocaine
It's the high
The feeling of being on cloud nine
Mind fried
Only thinking about what's ahead on me
Believing the past is dead to me
I hate overthinking
So I do cocaine.