Hostage of the Month

Look alive, it's the least you could do
When you're empty space in a crowded room
Hapless, drowning in vacuous nonsense
Throwing up secrets with whiskey and bile
Throw yourself at the feet of the feedback
With fevered brows set to decode an answer
But the voices will overtake you
Hostage of the
Hostage of the
Month

There is no symbiosis, though I've tried and tried in vain
It's like a deer tick on my heart;
I've got a tapeworm in my brain
It's far too late to figure out just what the fuck you want from me
When I've already signed the contract
And all that's left to do is bleed

I'll never sleep alone
I've got guilt to keep me warm
But that don't mean that the sleep is restful
Restful
With an outlook this pitch black
There's no chance I'll make it back
When I've been stuck in place for so long
For so long

I can't go on like this
I can't dig myself out of it
Bottomless pits
With no end in sight
I've been waiting for my turn to die
I can't breathe, I can't cope
Knowing this is the truth of it
And the truth just makes me sick
Out from under your influence
Out from under your influence

I'll never sleep alone
I've got guilt to keep me warm
I took everything I had for granted
For granted
Well I know I made my choice
And I've tried to fill that void
But there's no substitute for the real thing
For the real thing

Lay your head to the ground in search of a distant stillness;
A longing for silence
When the stampede collapses your skull,
I'm sure we'll all give sincerest condolences
When the ease is the cheapest thrill
We can't grow but we can't be still
But in your absence of good ideas
Where do you get
Where do you get off?

This is too much disgust For a lifetime
Even parasites offer something, so what am I?
When only bad luck seems to find me then I'll take what I can get
As I'm forever grabbing hold of each and every loosest thread