dishes

please don't take me home to realize
i'm just deceived by monochrome beauty, like
the frosted lake that appears solid
but when i step on it
i fall right in

and i appear to shine to you
but i wasn't so bright
once i turned off my headlights
i gave myself meaning
i filled in my cracks
i convinced you that i could last

but i blind myself
by trying to control
all of the things that i don't know

i hold 9 and 3 on the steering wheel
hoping holding tight means i'll control what i feel
the yellow lines fade away with the service on my phone
but i feel okay
'cause these backroads are home

i'm trying to accept the fact
that sometimes things just have to happen
i'll focus on what
i can do
maybe i'll wash the dirty dishes
that were left behind by you

i blind myself
by trying to control
all of the things that i don't know
i'll cauterize my internal bleeding
trying to make myself whole

the water looks calm from the shore
but you don't see when i sink in it
i guess to you i'm just a bum and don't do shit
'cause the things you can't see are eating me
what's underneath is diminishing
and i can't do anything
anything

(i blind myself by trying to control)
and i appear to shine to you
but i wasn't so bright
once i turned off my headlights
(all of the things i don't know)
i gave myself meaning
i filled in my cracks
i convinced you that i could last



Credits
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