sad sad song

My mom's teeth are falling out cuz she's stressed about dad
And all she wants is for me to go to church and I can't even do that
I cry every time I attend and I'm sure it makes them sad
I'm sick of praying for a miracle and never hearing back

My dad does this waddle where he walks around the house with his hands behind his back
He's forgetting how to swallow and sometimes for pick-up, he forgets how to drive back
My sister's getting worse, her body always hurts and so does her brain
She stutters when she talks and winces when she walks cuz she's in chronic pain
They get their chemo together so every night they curl up and watch anime
We just have to think of it as a sweet thing

I got my first boyfriend and then put in a program for my BPD
And then a year later I'm sobbing on his floor that I forgot how to breathe
But when I was in OCD crisis, he bought me a Lego set, we sat on the bed
And we built it together, he kissed on my neck to distract from my compulsions of controlling my breath
So I hope he's okay
I hope he found a girl more sane than me

I am jobless
And I'm hoping I'll find my Seroquel
Somewhere in the backseat with my belongings and that 20-dollar bill
I've been saving from gigging cuz I wrote a good deal of songs about boys to distract from the fact
I got kicked out of school and my OCD's back

It's getting hard to romanticize this...