I Should've Been a Painter

This song goes out to the twenty odd girls who broke my heart
We were never together but somehow we've still grown apart
Without hesitation I'm hitting them up again
And in my aspirations I can only picture them
It's so easy to think yet I can't understand anything at all
Put in so much time just to be seen as unremarkable
And I hate the feeling but I just can't seem to live without it
But if this isn't love then how come I always feel like shit?

I'd like to make a declaration as an artist if I could be so bold
Well we are not as young as we have been told
Can't get out the way of my own pretension
I'm up on this stage begging for your attention
Cause I sure as hell won't get it from her

For the rest of my life I never wanna see a girl again
And with all my spare time I'd like to rewind and open up old wounds caused by them
The energy that fuels me is the same that has me wishing for release
I should've been a painter then everybody coulda hated me in peace
Yeah
Yeah
Yeah yeah yeah

I've tried doing nothing and I've tried giving everything I've got
I wanna be fulfilled but loneliness really hits the spot
When every hand you've shaken and every mouth you've kissed
Has gotta be better off than this
To step outside and realize
You can't neatly organize
People inside your own little worldview
This is not the way life was meant to be lived
And I know this all to be true
That don't mean I've accepted it

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