Never There

Am I the reason things are the way that they are?
Did I add the fuel to the flame all while it was dying?

I think I made it worse
When will I ever learn?

Have I lost everything?
The ones I love most
Pushed away by my
Lack of care and control

Have I lost anything?
Or am I only close?
Blinded by the hope I
Won't wake up at all tomorrow

Have I lost anything, or am I only close?

I think everyone gave up on me
Nights alone make me so empty
Bottle after bottle of just daydreaming
I only feel fine when I am bleeding

I'll hurt myself if it means I'll feel something

Have I lost everything?
The ones I love most
Pushed away by my
Lack of care and control

Have I lost anything?
Or am I only close?
Blinded by the hope I
Won't wake up at all tomorrow

What is there I'm losing
I've always been alone
Forced away by my
Lack of care and control

Why do I think this way?
I know I'm not alone
But it's always felt like
No one is ever there at all

I found out that it's me
I can't live by my means
This mask is fake and I'm barely
Getting by, I fooled you, right?

Have I lost everything?
The ones I love most
Pushed away by my
Lack of care and control

Have I lost anything?
Or am I only close?
Blinded by the hope I
Won't wake up at all tomorrow

What is there I'm losing
I've always been alone
Forced away by my
Lack of care and control

Why do I think this way?
I know I'm not alone
But it's always felt like
No one is ever there at all

No one is ever there at all