Fancy People

Fancy people, with fancy cocktails
In some over-lit ballroom
One could get dizzy
From the glint of all the clinking glasses
Dylan in the corner wearing a suit that barely fits
Jimmy talking to five other people
Trying to fight back the nausea

And convincing himself it was
A necessary evil, to be there
Playing the pretty boy and
Sweet-talking rich executives
For some promised future of his

Michelle is cool, and calm, and collected
But surprisingly still
And Craig is closely eyeing the buffet
And Sean is nowhere to be seen
The mic turns on and feedback forces
Everyone to clench
Then the sound guy gets a hang of it and
Taps Jimmy on the back

Ladies and Gentleman
The band of the hour
Here to celebrate the release of their latest masterpiece
Shipwreck Treasure Party
I give you: Jimmy McCain from The Nautical Stairs!

Hey, everyone
I'm Jimmy McCain
You already know that
You've all read my bio
Well, when we started this band we said
Our mission was to irritate the world
And I'd like to thank you all for assisting us with that
So here's a taste

This party is shit
This champagne is shit
The bartender can go to hell
And y'all can join him
Our album is shit
You're all just pretending to like it
So you can financially exploit us
Mindless teenage kids
Cause everyone is full of shit
And I'm full of shit too

Jimmy you really shouldn't say that
Jimmy why did you say that
Jimmy they're all gonna hate us now

Shut the fuck up, guys
I know what I'm doing
I know exactly what I'm doing
Cause no matter what I say, it'll make us look more punk or whatever
And everyone is full of shit
Especially me

Dude, now is not the time for an existential crisis
Craig, it's exactly the time for that
Jimmy, you're fucking crazy!

I'd like to make a statement
Gather around, y'all, listen
I'm sorry for what I said earlier
It wasn't strong enough
I could fuck your dog
And it would be more entertaining than this goddamn dinner party
Feel free to remember that image

Cause everyone is full of shit
Yeah everyone is full of shit
Yeeaaahhhe eeveryoneis fulllll of shitietdsiaogb[wQURB21oru

And somehow he gets up
And is walked out the door
Muttering "fuck it if I'm famous
I'm Jimmy McCain"
And the band recollects
Sean is found somehow
Dylan drives them home
And just as expected, their stunt made it on the radio

(That little punk, Jimmy McCain, just insulted his entire record label!)

And through some ironic miracle
The very next day
An envelope, with the details of the next tour, from that same record label
Arrives at their door