This Other Woman

Almost everybody says it's time to bend the knee
All my lovely friends and my extended family
Every judicial official, the law society
They tell me it's my ethical responsibility
To tuck my tail way down between my legs, apologize
Well, all except that woman tells me lies

She says "Baby, they can't fire you, you quit
And I'm a show 'em where to shove that damn certificate
Baby, ain't no full-grown man obliged to eat that sh
There's plenty walking around with a special taste for it
You tell 'em hold that licence right between their thighs"
So says that woman tells me lies

Oh, this other woman tells me lies
I mean, this woman really falsifies
This other woman tells me lies
She comes to these conclusions she never justifies
And if Michael Caine could explain
He would say she tells little pork pies
(Now there's not many people know that)

They say "Son, now sidle up. It's time to listen carefully
What you're gonna do now is repeat this after me
Say what you saw, you did not see. What you heard, you did not hear
Take it from the top and don't forget to sound sincere
And do not alter one iota of the script if you are wise
And best ignore that woman tells you lies"

Alright: "I was taken out of context! It was not what I meant!
I did not say it! If I did it was an accident!
I plead not guilty! No contest! I plead insanity!
I beg for your forgiveness and accept my penalty"
I can't say it with a straight face if I had a hundred tries
No, I prefer that woman tells me lies

This other woman tells me lies
I really cannot overemphasize
How this other woman tells me lies
I mean every attempt at consensus she defies
And if Christopher Walken were talkin'
He could say she can really scandalize

33 percent of poll respondents tell me I am bad
And 66 percent of them are split on sad and mad
And what a beautiful, glorious, negative consensus could have been
If my little lady wasn't so contrarian
She had the gall to answer "None of the above"
Mmm, that lying woman that I love

So I ignore the media on every other station
I'm caught up in the web of her profuse misinformation
'Til I find my baby's Kool-Aid is the only drink I drink
It's partly on the very sexy packaging, I think
Her words bewitched my brain as her form bewitched my eyes
That lovely woman tells me lies

This other woman tells me lies
I don't wanna over-analyze
But this other woman tells me lies
I mean every attempt at consensus she defies
And as JJ Cale, without fail, would say
"Lies, lies lies"

So leave a message, this is monitored sporadically
I am with my baby in our parallel reality
Whispering "The sky may fall but justice shall be done"
Her lies may be ignoble but they're sure a lot of fun
And hey, a guy can always fantasize
Yeah, I do a lot of that with this woman tells me lies

And if there were times when I was tempted to comply
To submit to the power, respect authority
Just to get a crumb of the way things used to be
She's got a way of arguing so damn persuasively
This woman would have easily convinced me otherwise
God, I love that woman tells me lies

This other woman tells me lies
I gotta confess, I often fantasize
All about this woman tells me lies
As this chorus clearly testifies
You gotta give me props for how she can propagandize