Monster

I hold your mistakes high over your head
Especially when they look like mine
I'm not one to hand out my forgiveness
But I expect it every time
It's just me and the accusations you made
It pains me to admit you were right
Someday I will be someone you resent
Honey, the pleasure is all mine

Well, I heard you're calling me a traitor
Owe you a good apology, I'll do it later
Wrote all my stories and I paint myself the good guy
This is the end of my tunnel, it's a gaslight
Yeah, I heard you're calling me a monster
After all the shit I pulled, you could do better
Heart of gold, will I fold for a good time?
I'll do what I want, what I want over what's right

You gave me your all
It was intimate
I guess it ain't your fault
That I can't commit
Yeah, you talk till you scream, I never listen
I couldn't help but feel so indifferent
Yeah, all my failures are visceral
I still taste blood from years ago
Push and shove til you're giving up
Just to prove you ain't good enough
Shoot my meanest words like arrows
I make damn sure they echo
I make damn sure they echo

Well, I heard you're calling me a traitor
Owe you a good apology, I'll do it later
Wrote all my stories and I paint myself the good guy
This is the end of my tunnel, it's a gaslight
Yeah, I heard you're calling me a monster
After all the shit I pulled, you could do better
Heart of gold, will I fold for a good time?
I'll do what I want, what I want over what's right

I can't even be honest with myself
How could you believe I'd do that for someone else?
Lying out of my teeth and it sounds so nice
You're down on your knee, but I don't want that life
You're waiting for me at the back of the bar
While I'm kissing boys in the back of their cars
It's half past 3 and you're fast asleep
While I'm on the phone with Jodie
Will I ever know why I am like this?
I go for what I can't have like I'm righteous
I'm pointing all of my fingers, can't face the shame
If you wanna place blame, just say my name
I go home alone and I think it's strange
I got what I want but it don't taste the same
Now the only ones who know me are my felonies, tellin me
Everyone who's ever loved me is the enemy
I get high on all the jealousy
You can't forgive the infidelity
And I can't take it back and i don't wanna be
Someone who lives like that in this economy
When I was supposed to be a good friend, trusted
I snuck around with the love of your life instead
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Well, I heard you're calling me a traitor
Owe you a good apology, I'll do it later
Wrote all my stories and I paint myself the good guy
This is the end of my tunnel, it's a gaslight
Yeah, I heard you're calling me a monster
After all the shit I pulled, you should do better
Heart of gold, but I fold for a good time
I'll do what I want, what I want over what's right
I'll do what I want, what I want over what's right
I'll do what I want, what I want over what's right
(you should do better)
I'll do what I want, what I want over what's right
(you should do better)
I'll do what I want, what I want over what's right
I'll do what I want, what I want over what's right
I'll do what I want, what I want over what's right
I'll do what I want, what I want over what's right
Do what I want, what I want over what's right