Mother I

The doctor mumbles, he seems bored
Guess my worst fear is just a chore
Deep breath in, he probes inside
Who's the brave face for? Who's by my side
Unless I'm not alone
And that's just why I came
If someone made a home of me
Then I believe I owe them a name

So, hey, God, if you're up there, guess this proves that you're a man
Don't think that you would send this if you really understand
On the outside made me soft, a place for all to rest their heads
But inside you made me empty, hard, my belly full of lead
'Cause somehow motherhood's the only thing I've known for sure
So what is left if mother's not for sure anymore
Please, Doctor, cut me open, scoop out all that's in the way
Oh, Doctor, will you hollow me? Make room for them to stay

He seems scared to voice the news
As if I haven't guessed for years
God just built you backwards, girl
But otherwise, you're in the clear
"Aren't you relieved?" he says
"Now you're free another day
So flippant, as if mother weren't the first word
I ever learned to say

So, hey, God, if you're up there, guess this proves that you're a man
Don't think that you'd have made me this if you really understand
On the outside, I am soft, a place for all to rest their heads
But inside you made me empty, hard, my belly full of lead
'Cause somehow motherhood's the only thing I've known for sure
So what is left if mother's not for sure anymore
Please, Mother, cut me open, scoop out all that's in the way
Oh, Mother, will you hollow me? Make room for them to stay

'Cause how can I just let it go? I'm only 23
That's too damn young to have to come to terms with what this means
I'll finally grow up, now that I'm choking on the dust
And to survive, I'll shrug it off, I'll smile, I'll adjust
I'll tuck the dream of you away forever or for now
You were just make believe, a fairytale anyhow
This sense of unborn purpose, it belongs upon the shelf
But now that you're gone, I find that I am just a child myself

So, hey, God, if you're up there, please take away this lot
I know I haven't earned it, but they still deserve a shot
On the outside, I will carry on, keep breathing, raise my head
But inside, I'm slowly dying from my belly full of lead
'Cause mother was the only thing I've ever known for sure
So what is left of me if I can't be a mother anymore
Please, someone cut me open, scoop out all that's in the way
Oh, Mother, you have hollowed me, make room for me to stay

Oh, Mother, God, can you hear me
Oh, Mother, can you hear me, God?
Mother, can you hear me
Mother, can you hear me, God