Crushed

Holy fuck, I think I'm crushed
What the hell was I thinking of
Falling in with my guts

What have I done with my days
I was happier before I met you
Now I'm just staring into crowds
Trying to find your face

If I could I'd go back and erase the time I met you
Take that little lighter
And throw it in the sea
Then I would have more time
Don't know what I would spend it on
There'd be a big fat hole of nothing
To fill up

Then I could learn how to think
I could learn how to not
Use my degree to pay you back
Spend my savings on a trip to the sun
Start the morning with a 5k run
Not yell at the girl in my mindfulness app
Not get provoked when she tells me to relax
Walk to work and get enough sleep
It feels trendy to be in one piece

Will you stop being smart?
I hate your brain, just shut it off
With you, I don't, wanna think at all
With you, I don't wanna think at all

With my arms around your neck
I feel sick, but less dead
Where's the end, how did it start?
You made me hate being in love
You made me hate being in love
You made me hate being in love
You made me hate being in love
You made me hate being in love