Romeo, 1996

My heart's in my stomach
It's making me nauseous
My lungs are a wasteland
I'm gasping for air
It feels like a movie
From the 1990s
Blue gold and blood
A tragic affair
So I'll fill my body
With smoke and pollution
So it feels more like floating
When you're speaking to me
No I swear I'm not sinking
I know how to swim now
Just turn up the volume
On your square TV

I've been told that I'm selfish
So I took that to heart

Everything is blurry
And this is feeling dangerous
I can barely say a word
My hands are going numb
I hope that you don't notice
The way my voice is shaking
When I tell you I do
Stupid things when I'm drunk
I'm always the hugger
Always the affectionate
One at every party
You host at your house
I'd spend every dollar
Just for a minute longer
Even just for the privilege
To sleep on your couch

Looks like I'm still selfish
So watch me play my part

Let's write a story
With a tragic ending
Where one of us dies
Or moves far away
I feel like I haven't
Moved in three hours
And I don't want to leave
But you know I can't stay
You're my biggest weakness
The knife to my throat
And we'll keep on pretending
That we follow the rules
The gun in your pocket
You stole from back home
And I'm drowning myself
In your dad's swimming pool

I wish I weren't so selfish
Go easy on my heart

Every fiber within me
Screams to be near you
But I can't dare to touch you
In case this would break
Stoned in the passenger seat
On the highway
Choke on painkillers
To soften the ache
You're under my skin
And you're making a home there
And I'm spending too much
On drinks at the bar
These violent delights
Lead to such violent ends
So I'll scream at the sky
And I'll defy the stars

Don't you call me selfish
What a perfect place to start

Underwater I can't breathe
I'm so far from what you want me to be
Undercover I can't speak
I want you to want all of me
Freezing winter windows down
The stars are calling, can you hear the sound
I'd speak to you if I knew how
Early July, can't stand my ground

I don't think I'm selfish
This proves I have a heart
I'll show you I'm not selfish

I'll pull myself apart