Pharmacy (A Quiet Pine)

Fill me up
Make it go away
Nothing else has worked
No one else is on their way so

Fill me up
I take things day by day
Sometimes they don't seem so bad
Sometimes I don't think I'll make it

One grain of hope
Can be grown into a field
I'll tend like it my own backyard
Until a life I love is yielded

Making sure
To never look away
Knowing that a change of wind
Can bring about the end of days

Friends, words, and waterfalls
Of kindness and best of all
The time to step behind the curtain
And clean up my act

And even though it's chemical
It burrows deep into the soul
Starts chewing on the lights that
Keep my thoughts from turning black

That's what this is stemming from
So I just don't blame anyone
Who finds themselves the captain of
A broken down machine

And then somehow conversely
I have come to find encouragement
In thinking that my savior
Is responsibility

So if you're doing poorly
I don't blame you but I warn you
There is no one on the way
You will have to save yourself

And therein lies the conflict
Of the victim being charged with
The never ending task
Of fixing problems sent by God

But that is what it means to me
To have responsibility
We sometimes put out fires
That seem to start themselves
And I don't have conclusions
Or advice without exclusions
I'll just say
Good luck
And by the way
Fill me up

Fill me up
Some things really change
Something small at each day's end
I don't want an end of days so

Fill me up
A dragon underfed
Find those screaming thoughts and words
Drag them gently from my head

I'm not alone
But I am by myself
The shadows that are in my blood
Have been met with something else

You're not alive
But I am not awake
So you're my superhero pal
Floating wood atop the lake

My spirit was a forest
That was burned and slowly tortured
And the things that had been living there
Are never coming back

But something new is stirring
It has purpose and it's learning
How to move against the fire
And can even put it out

But the fire never truly dies
So maybe in a lot of time
The stones and mud will form
A little pit and keep it safe

And the forest will be stronger
Than the one that had been lost
And so the whole thing by the end
Will have been baptized in those flames

It broke me into clay and so
I paid an awful debt
But I now know much more of life
Because I've truly begged for death

I pleaded with a god
That I then barely believed in
Said if you are there and you can hear me
Let me fade away

Or make it so I never was
I need you to dissolve me
Just one final breath
Then nothingness
Will wash me from the world

And please in all your power
Make it easy when I die
And if you have it there within you
Just be certain no one cries
But in the meantime
Fill me up