Intoxicating Fear (Part One)

You know, they thought they were untouchable, didn't they?

So safe in their little worlds, surrounded by their friends
And their lies, their, illusions of control

But, but what, what they never understood is that every shove
Every, cruel word, it only sharpened my resolve

They pushed me into the shadows
Thinking I would disappear?
Fade into, obscurity?

But that's not
That's not gonna happen
No
That's not what happened, is it?

No, no, in those shadows see
I found something
I found, clarity
I found, strength
And I found

The high

When I became what they feared
I decided to, transform everything
And I spent an entire year, reshaping myself

I changed my diet, honed my body, and no one even noticed

I mean
Who really pays attention to a guy like me on the boardwalk
In shlumpy clothes, glasses, and a baseball cap?
I was invisible
Hiding in plain sight

That's when I found her
A girl
With fiery red hair that, that matched mine
You know, I thought she was, she was different
Someone who could finally, see me, for who I was
Who could understand the depths that I had explored
I became, infatuated, obsessed with her
But, my focus was on my transformation
And I, I, I couldn't give her the attention she, she craved
She gave up and slipped away, like all the others

But this time, this time, it wasn't just, disappointment
It was something, darker

When she, cut me off, I couldn't, I couldn't let go

My obsession grew
Deepening with each day she just ignored me
Each time she, blocked me out of her life?
And just melted back into the mass of man