Moses vs Santa Claus (feat. Snoop Dogg)

Sweet robes, Obi one too many days in the sun,
Stop preachin' homie, teach your flock to covet some fun!
I bring joy every year, man I represent cheer,
You represent sandals and a scraggly beard.
I'm from the North Pole, that's why my rhymes are so cold!
I spit diamonds but I'm serving up some fresh coal,
You've been a naughty boy, you brought a plague of frogs,
You'd best arrest yourself, you broke your own law.
Or was there something in Rule Six I didn't understand?
My list says kill the Egyptian Jew, buried in his sand.
I read your book, you got a strict religion,
No bacon, but mandatory circumcision?
I'm a jolly bowl of jelly, giving holiday presents,
But all the chosen people ever get for Christmas is jealous!

When I was high up on the mountain God revealed the truths of the Earth,
But he never mentioned a fat-ass Papa Smurf.
It takes 9 reindeers to haul your fat-ass.
You took the Christ out of Christmas and just added mo' mass.
You need to stop breakin into houses and creepin' and peepin',
On naughty kids while they' sleepin' and keep yo' hands off my stockin'.
Don't you 'Ho Ho' me! I'll split yo ass in half, like I did the Red Sea.
You ain't a saint you' a slaver, like a pharaoh in the snow.
Stop with the unpaid labor, and let my little people go!

We ain't slaves!
All that sand turned your brain to mush!
I think you need to stop smokin' all that burnin' bush.
Yeah, we're magical workers, man!
We hang with reindeers.
Yo! Here's a GPS!
Who gets lots for forty years!?
You're a glorified secretary, so write this down,
Begat deez nuts,
Santa Claus is comin' to town.

So much drama in the Israel BC,
It's kinda hard talkin' directly to the G-O-single-D.
Hand me my chisel, I got a new command'izzle, for y'all.
Thou shalt not let your children sit on a grown man's lap at the mall.
I'll beat you ten times before the bread can rise, you dummy,
And walk of into the land of my milk and honey.