When I Grow up (Reprise)

When I grow up (when I grow up), when I grow up
I will be tall enough to reach the branches
That I need to reach to climb the trees
You get to climb when you're grown up
And when I grow up (when I grow up), when I grow up
I will be smart enough to answer all the questions
That you need to know the answers to, before you're grown up

And when I grow up (and when I grow up)
I will eat sweets every day
On the way to work, and I will go to bed late every night
And I will wake up (and I will wake up)
When the sun comes up, and I will watch cartoons until my eyes get swell
And I won't care 'cause I'll be all grown up
When I grow up

(When I grow up) even when you're little, you can do a lot
You mustn't let a little thing like, little stop you
If you sit around and let them get on top
You won't change a thing (when I grow up)

Just because you find that life's not fair, it
Doesn't mean that you just have to grin and bear it
If you always take it on the chin and wear it
You might as well be saying you think that it's okay
And that's not right
And if it's not right
You have to put it right

But nobody else is gonna put it right for me
Nobody but me is gonna change my story
Sometimes you have to be a little bit (maggots) naughty

How dare you?
You are not fit to be at this school, madam
You ought to be in prison!
In the deepest, dankest, darkest prison
I shall have you wheeled out
Strapped to a trolley with a muzzle over your mouth
I shall crush you, I shall pound you, I shall dissect you, madam
I shall strap you to a table and perform experiments on you
I shall feed you to the termites

And then I shall smash the termites into tiny fragments
And then I shall grind the tiny fragments into dust
And I shall take that dust and feed it to the blood worms
And the blood worms I shall feed to birds
And the birds I shall release into the air
And then shoot them down with my 12-bore shotgun
And so on, and so on, ad infinitum, madam, ad infinitum!

Your father is a crook and so are you
Last night, I was driving home in that monstrosity he sold me
And the engine fell out, what do you say to that?
You can say nothing, and there is nothing you can say
Because you are genetically predisposed to evil
And you must be destroyed
Before you can be allowed to grow one centimetre taller
Than you currently are, do you hear?

Vomit! Puke! Snot! Stain! Are you listening?
All of these disgusting little slugs
Shall suffer the most appalling indignities because of you, yes, you
I shall rip the rebellion out of this class and devour it whole
I shall hang each, and every one of you, upside down, by your ankles
Until all of your bodily liquids drain out through your noses and into jars
Yes, jars! Which I shall then send to your parents with your school reports
Upon which I shall write, "Could do better"

Miss Honey has allowed her weakness and filth to permeate through this
Miserable collection of excuses for children
And you, madam, standing there before me like the squit of squits
Are it's beating heart
You are the axis of evil
You are the nexus of necrosis
You are a rotting lump of pure wrong
You are the dark heart of all that is unholy in this land
A black hole of wrongheadedness
From which no light, no strength, no discipline can escape

But I am a match for you, madam
In me, you have met the avenger
The spirit of all that is right
And I tell you that there is nothing I shall not do
No length to which I shall not go
No punishment I shall not inflict
No ear I shall not stretch
No fingers I shall not snap back to defeat you
Yes, I defeat you, in exaltation, do you hear?

Are you listening?
Are you listening, madam?