The Madison Panty-Sniffing Festival

Well it's contest time ladies and gentlemen
Direct from Madison Wisconsin, it's the Madison panty-sniffing festival, just as promised

Heavy duty? Maroon nylon heavy-duty, okay, light blue cotton with tiny skid
That's getting him very excited because it appears that the bottom
Part of those pants are welded together
Okay let's try this, Alice blue nylon

(These smell like the same ones I had last night)

For those of you who didn't hear he says those smell like the same ones he had last night
Did you like them? You don't like those?

Maybe they are, maybe she's following us around
Black nylon

(Ooh please)
Black nylon, re- e-hem, registering a 19 on the Richter scale
(Oh, god, gotta kee- ooh)
(Ah-ha-hah, it's fuckin' disgusting)

These are very light blue and apparently have come in contact with some
Corrosive material that has eaten the bottom out of it (China syndrome)
What? China Syndrome
Yeah, ha-ha-ha, ha
Alright, rustic hokey pokey, model number 13

(Ooh, nah)
Blue with the little embroidered things on the front

(This smells like armpits, ugh)
Okay, who wins? Those belong to Chuck Eldridge

Hi (ha-hah, sorry)