Honey, Don't You Want a Man Like Me?

Honey honey, hey
Baby don't you want a man like me
Honey honey, hey
Baby don't you want a man like me

He was the Playboy type, he smoke a pipe
His fav'rite phrase was "outa-site!"
He had an Irish Setter

It was a singles bar, a Tuesday night
The moon was dim, the band was tight
They did the bump together

What a splendid sight
Ren-nen-nen-nen
Her teeth were white
U-a-u-u

The drinks were cheap
It was Ladies Nite
He was glad that he met her

She was an office girl
"My name is Betty"
Her fav'rite group was Helen Reddy
They discussed the weather

Honey honey, hey
Baby don't you want a man like me
Honey honey, hey
Baby don't you want a man like me

Honey honey, hey
Baby don't you want a
Baby don't you want a
Baby don't you want a man

She was the lonely sort, just a little too short
Her jokes were dumb and her fav'rite sport
Was hockey in the winter

He was duly impressed and was quick to suggest
Any sport with a Puck had to be 'bout the best
As he jabbed his elbow in her "Get it honey? Get it?"

Later on they went off to where the music was soft
The candles were drippy, they saw a Real Hippy
Who delivered their dinner

The rice was brown, and soon they found
That the crowd around that had jammed the room
Well it seemed to be getting thinner

Honey honey, hey
Baby don't you want a man like me
Honey honey, hey
Baby don't you want a man like me

Honey honey, hey
Baby don't you want a
Baby don't you want a
Baby don't you want a man

He took her home to a motor court
She wouldn't kiss him, he tried to ignore it
But it made him angry!
Angry, it made me angry, it made me so angry
I could have killed that lousy bitch!

He called her a slut, a pig and a whore
A bitch and a cunt and she slammed the door
In a petulant frenzy!
A petulant frenzy, this is a petulant frenzy
I'm petulant, and I'm having a frenzy

On the sofa she weeps
Boo hoo hoo hoo
She weeps and she weeps
Boo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo
She weeps and she peeks
Through the curtain

He just got in his car but the battery's dead
So he asks to use the phone and she gives him some head
And that's the end of the story

Honey honey, hey
Baby don't you want a man like me
Honey honey, hey
Baby don't you want a man like me

Honey honey, hey
Baby don't you want a
Baby don't you want a man
Baby don't you want a man sometimes?