All Hail the Brain / Terminal Illness

Brain's gonna do it, Brain's gonna do it!
Friday night, the Brian's gonna do it!
Friday night, we go to the mall,
and the Brain's gonna get us into the movie.
Gonna go see the Bloodmaster!
Friday night the Bloodmaster!
Friday night, Friday night
Brain's gonna do it, Brain's gonna do it!
I have a plan
I have a plan
Possibly, I think I have a plan
It'll take a lot of work, it'll take a lot of luck
But when it all comes through, they'll say
All hail the brain!
He does what no mere mortal can
He's the man, Evan Goldman
All hail the brain!
He did what no one else could do
Saw us through, saved the day
And all I have to do is
Wait till Mom goes to sleep
Then sneak the license from the wallet in her purse
Make a colored Xerox, laminate it
Then put the license back in the wallet in her purse
Then find the dress she wore in the picture on the license that I copied and I laminated
Wear the dress, get a wig, show the license, buy the tickets
What could go wrong?
Brett's gonna do it
Brett's gonna do it
Friday night
Brett's gonna do it
Friday night
At the Bloodmaster
Brett's gonna do the tongue with Kendra
Friday night at the movie in the mall
And the Brain's gonna get us in!
I have a plan
A better plan
Actually an almost perfect plan
It sounds absolutely nuts, it'll take a lot of guts
But when it all comes through, they'll say:
All hail the brain
Give that bar mitzvah boy a hand
Ain't he grand, ain't he great?
And all I have to do is:
Go that day to the movie theater
Break into the projection room
Steal the reels of film for the Bloodmaster
Take 'em down the hall where they're showing Bambi
Switch the reels, leave the theater
Tell the guys we're gonna go and see Bambi
What could go wrong?
Hey, Brain, did you set up my date for Friday?
Date?
With Kendra!
Date? Date! Archie, I have major news!
I have a plan
I have a plan
So you and Kendra can go out on Friday night
Ooh!
I need your help, though, so stay calm
You need to go talk to my mom
And it'll all come true
Because
No one says no to a boy with a terminal illness
Take it from me, it's a sure guarantee of success
Listen, I'm not making fun of your terminal illness
But you hold the secret to getting my mom to say yes
So talk to my mom, and get her to buy the tickets we need to obtain
Brett gets his movie, I get the credit, and you get your date, so who could complain?
Except for you because your dying, but
No one says no to a boy with a terminal illness
Who could refuse when you shuffle your shoes and say please?
Use all the tricks that you learned in your cradle
You don't need to lay it on thick with a ladle
Cause no one says no to a boy with a fatal disease!
I can do this!
I know you can!
La, la, la, la
La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
Mrs. Goldman, I hate to bother you, but I was strolling through the neighborhood'
La, la, la, la
La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
Which wouldn't be so bad, if it weren't my birthday on Friday, but the insurance doesn't cover...
La, la, la, la
La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
I could always pay you for the tickets if I don't get my medicine next month'
La, la, la, la
La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
And you know, I've always felt this kinship with the Jewish people'
And out of the blue
A thought comes to you
Like sun coming out from the rain
And after the stress
My mother says--
Yes!
Yes!
Evan & Archie:
We're all set for Friday
So who could complain
Except for you because you're Jewish and you always complain
It's true!
Evan & Archie:
But no one says no to a boy with a terminal illness
Ask for a day at the mall or a trip to Belize
Nothing's to hard and no quest unendurable
Long as your sure you're completely incurable
Cause no one says no to a boy with a fatal disease
All hail the brain
All hail the brain!
I never thought he'd take the bait
This is great, Evan Goldman
Evan Goldman!
All hail the brain!
I did what no one else could do
Tell me who could complain?
All hail the brain
All hail the brain!
All hail the brain!
All hail the brain
All hail the brain!