The Meek Shall Inherit

Seymour Krelborn, so finally we meet you
This is an occasion, let's toast! Up yours
Relax, canape? Cigarette? Let's talk turkey
Sign here and we'll book you on lecturing tours

Yes, darling, we're sending photographers Thursday
So get the plant ready and wear a clean shirt
Just sign this release, need a pen?
Aren't you thrilled? It's the cover of Life magazine!
Dessert?

I'm telling you, son, it's a cinch to get ratings
The title is Marvin's, the concept is mine
The first weekly gardening show on the network
And you're gonna host it you lucky kid, sign!

They say the meek shall inherit
You know the book doesn't lie
It's not a question of merit
It's not demand and supply
They say the meek gonna get it
And you're a meek little guy
You know the meek are gonna get what's coming to 'em
By and by

My future's starting, I've got to let it
Stick with that plant and gee, my bank account will thrive
What am I saying? No way, forget it
It's much too dangerous to keep that plant alive
I take these offers, that means more killing
Who knew success would come with messy nasty strings?
I sign these contracts, that means I'm willing
To keep on doing bloody, awful, evil things
No, no, there's only so far you can bend
No, no, this nightmare must come to an end
No, no, you've got no alternative, Seymour, old boy
Though it means you'll be broke again and unemployed
It's the only solution, it can't be avoided
The vegetable must be destroyed

But then, there's Audrey
Lovely Audrey
If life were tawdry and impoverished as before
She might not like me, she might not want me
Without my plant, she might not love me anymore

They say the meek shall inherit (Where do I sign?)
You know the book doesn't lie (Right on the line)
It's not a question of merit (Your pen or mine?)
It's not demand and supply (That copy's mine)
You'll make a fortune, we swear it (Couldn't go wrong)
If on this fact you rely (Bye-bye, so long!)

You know the meek are gonna get what's coming to them
You know the meek are gonna get what's coming to them
You know the meek are gonna get what's coming to them
By and by